Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 Review

Hi guys! With the new year underway, games released late last year are given their time in the spotlight. Released on November 13, 2012, Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 was one of the most anticipated games of last year, and it generated a lot of buzz before it’s release. When it finally came out, hordes of fans all over the world swarmed Gamespot stores and other outlets just to buy a copy, and play the living hell out of it. Is it any good? Well, read on to see my views on Call of Duty: Black Ops 2, and see if it matches with yours.

Story
It’s the year 2025. Rare earth minerals have become more scarce than they already are, and this sparks a new cold war between the People’s Republic of China and the United States, with China hoarding the rare earth minerals & expanding their influence, and the United States trying to keep China’s influence to within their own country. Unfortunately, there are outside forces that desire conflict between these two countries. Enter Raul Menendez and his group Cordis Die, an organization that tries to appeal to the common man and their troubles. It is Raul’s desire to see other countries in conflict with the United States, due to a tragedy that happened in his past that he blames on the US. Luckily, there are individuals who have the knowhow to stop Raul and his men.

Enter David Mason, son of one of the main characters from Black Ops. Like his father, he entered the military to make something out of himself, and he gets involved with the operations against Menendez & China. Accompanying him on these missions are fellow soldiers Mike Harper & David Salazar, who also have an axe to grind with Menendez and the Chinese. However, even they need a little help, so they turn to what is perhaps one of the most unlikely sources of information...Frank Woods.

It turns out that Woods survived the blast at the end of Black Ops, and knows about Menendez, as well as why he became the madman he is. During your visits with Woods, you get a glimpse of his life during the 1980s, and the missions he, Mason, and Hudson went through to get to Menendez, only to go through some of the toughest hell they’ve ever traversed through, and they suffer some equally hellish tragedy, but I won’t spoil that for you.

I really like this story. Unlike the Modern Warfare series, the story in Black Ops 2 feels far more believable. Granted, there’s still plenty of cheese & comedic moments, but there are plenty of moments where the cheese & comedy are taken away to add more serious elements, and thus create a more believable story. What is most unique is that Treyarch decided to put the story together like in a pick-your-own adventure book. Although out the story (In both the 1980s & 2025), there are moments where you’re required to make a decision to progress the story in some way. Sometimes Menendez’s plan changes, yet other times one of the characters changes in someway, and they might have a different attitude towards you or someone else. All I can say is that Infinity Ward decides to go this route when they make Modern Warfare 4.

Settings
As per the norm for the Call of Duty games (With the possible exception of World of War), Black Ops 2 has the player travel all over the world in their mission to stop the bad guys. What makes the setting in this game interesting is that we’re given two worlds: the flashbacks from the 1980s, and the future in 2025. Within the 1980s, we go to Angola, Afghanistan, Nicaragua, and Panama. These places make up a 3rd of the game, and they’ll feel familiar to those that knew what went on during the time. It’s during these flashbacks that the player uses the older weapons from Black Ops (Along with a special guest or two from the MW series), adding more to the archaic/nostalgic feelings of the 1980s.

When we’re in the future, we have a larger expanse of the world to fight through. We travel to Los Angeles, Beijing, the Cayman Trench, Hong Kong, Singapore, Shanghai, Yemen, Myanmar, and the island nation of Haiti. In this potential future, the world feels pristine, clean, and reliant on technology more than ever. The future campaign composes the bulk of the game, taking up two-thirds of what went on. However, when Menendez (The main bad guy) begins his plans, we see that the technology we made comes back to bite us, and the pristine world becomes ruined & dirty, with the sins of the past coming to haunt everyone.

Characters
Much like the first Black Ops, BO2 has a cast of intriguing & interesting characters, some of which you’ll like, and other you’ll like to kill. To start off, we have three returning characters from BO making a comeback. There’s Mason, Woods, and Hudson, and they’re key players in the 1980s flashback players. We see that a lot of things have happened to them, and not necessarily good things. Woods himself has become more hardened & bitter due to him surviving the blast at the end of Black Ops, and getting subsequently tortured by the Russians. Hudson continued to work for the CIA, and seems to have gained a more sinister & manipulative edge since the 60s, and Mason seems to have also become more bitter, and is still reeling from the damage done to him by the brainwashing in Black Ops. Even Reznov, who was supposedly dead in Black Ops, makes a cameo or two in this game.

In the future, we’re also given a good main cast. The character you play, David Mason, is almost like his father. He’s gruff, has a weight on his shoulders, but he’s less bitter than his father. Mike Harper, a soldier that is with you for most of the missions, is a wisecracking gunman that is more likely to shoot than ask questions. Javier Salazar, a Latino soldier who grew up in Nicaragua during the 80, seems to be somewhat mysterious, and always seems like he hiding something from everyone else. To round things off, your lead commander, Admiral Briggs, is very controlling, but he’s prone to sweating & bursts of anger on a semi-frequent basis.

It can’t be a Call of Duty game without a main villain (or villains), and Raul Menendez is perhaps one of the most intimidating villains in the history of the franchise. In a lot of ways, he’s like Handsome Jack from Borderlands 2: he bloodthirsty, full of rage & hate, and has immense power. Unlike Jack, we know more about Menendez’s past. Whereas we’re only given snipbits of Handsome Jack’s past, we know just about everything that happened to him, and what caused him to become the madman that he is in the future (You even play as him in one part of a mission). Also like Handsome Jack, Raul Menendez is likable somehow. You’re not really certain, but there’s something about Menendez that just seems to click. Even when you complete the game, you still haven’t guessed what it is. It also doesn’t help the fact that he teams up with Manuel Noreiga during the 80s flashbacks, and Noreiga is almost as evil as he is.

Gameplay
As far as singleplayer is concerned, the gameplay has remained fundamentally the same. You still go through a rather linear set of levels, killing enemies, and doing things associated with the mission. However, there have also been some radical changes as well. For starters, the pick-your-own adventure aspect of the story also applies to the gameplay. For example (Spoilers!): there’s a mission about one-fourth/halfway through the game, you are escaping from the enemies forces, and you’re going through a burning building in a vehicle. One of your allies is on top of the vehicle, and there’s a wall of flame ahead of you. If you drive through the wrong way, your ally will have his face scorched, and it’ll remain like that for the rest of the game. On the other hand, if you move through the right way, he’ll make it through without a scratch. Some of the choices make a small difference, but other choices can make a massive difference and change the story in some way.

Though it’s more minor (But still big), Black Ops 2 allows the player for the first time to select their loadout (This includes weapon attachments, lethal & tactical grenades, etc) at the start of a singleplayer mission. There are occasions where you might want to keep a certain weapon because of the circumstances, but chances are the choices you make for whatever weapons you pick will work out somehow. On top of that, you can select weapons from the 1980s flashback missions and bring them into the 2025 missions. Granted, enemies won’t be dropping ammo for them, but it’s fun to walk through a futuristic factory with an RPD, and mow down anyone that gets in front of you.

Another new addition to the singleplayer mode is the introduction of the Strike Force missions. These levels (There are 4 of them, I believe) focus on the cold war between the Chinese and the United States’s efforts to halt China’s actions, and they act & feel more like levels from a Real-Time Strategy game than a FPS game. You can assume control of a soldier on the ground & play normally, but you can also command a group of soldiers (Or a solitary soldier) to guard or attack key locations, and you can also take control of any robotics that may be with you (One Strike Force mission has you piloting drones to protect a convoy, and there’s no conventional soldier on the ground), as well as any remote turrets that are setup. If I have one complaint about the Strike Force missions, it’s that when you’re getting beat, it can take some time before reinforcements arrive. To make it worse, when you’re given the option to redo the mission (You can do this up to 3 times before you permanently fail), you have a reduced amount of reserve troops that come in when you’re getting beat.

Multiplayer is much like the Singleplayer: it’s still the same, but there’s been some big changes as well. There’s P2P servers & dedicated servers ala Modern Warfare 3, all the standard & special multiplayer modes have returned, etc. One of the biggest changes comes in the form of the 10 point system & unlock tokens. Each of the guns/attachments, perks, and equipment have a point, and you can mix & match just about everything to your liking, making the multiplay more customizable than before. Helping out the customizing are the Wildcards, which are special bonuses that allow you to customize your class even more so. For example, the Primary Gunfighter wildcard allows you to put 3 attachments onto the gun (In this game, guns can have two attachments right off the bat). Using these wildcards, however, forces you to think about what you want to sacrifice for the sake of additional benefits, as you must give up something for this additional power.

The unlock tokens are perhaps the only change I dislike. In this game, when you level up you gains weapons/perks/equipment normally, but now you must use a unlock token to acquire & use them, mirroring the COD Points system from Black Ops. It’s not quite as irritating, but it’s still a pain. To complicate things, you don’t gain everything when you reach level 55 (BTW, 55 was the highest level you could achieve in the original Modern Warfare), and now you must prestige to the maximum level (There are 10 prestige levels) to get all the weapons/perks/equipment.

The second big change is that all of the perks now only alter the player’s statistics, and any of the old perks have now become attachments for the guns. For example, the Steady Aim perk has become the Laser Sight attachment, the Stalker perk has become the Adjustable Stock attachment, etc. This game, perhaps out of all the Call of Duty games, has the most variety of attachments, some of which came from previous game, and some of which are brand new. The perks themselves also fall under this as well, as some are new, and some are old. Some of the old perks has received partial facelifts, as the Ghost perk requires that you move to receive it’s benefits, and the Scavenger perk requires that you now kill somebody to get the ammo replenishment. It’s these changes that make you think about what to put together, and how to use what you’ve made.

Guns are also a big change in multiplayer. Compared to the rest of the games (With the possible exception of MW3), the arsenal in this game is perhaps the most futuristic that’s ever been assembled. A couple old favorites have returned with some changes (The MP7 SMG & KSG shotgun come to mind), and for the first time there are fictional guns based off of real world weapons (The Type 25 is based off of the Type 95 from MW3, and the PDW-57 is based off of the P90). This selection of guns feels very new & fresh when compared to the other Call of Duty games, and they have some weight to them (Even the pistols feel more meaty than before).

The last change in Black Ops 2 comes in the form of the Zombies mode. There’s still the standard story mode (The level name is Tranzit, and it’s so large, you take a bus to get to the other areas), but there’s also a survival mode where you play a specific part from Tranzit, and the new Grief mode, where two teams fight against the zombies, and try to mess with each other at the same time. As usual, the zombie mode was a hit, and it’s a good challenge to try to go all over the areas of Tranzit.

Graphics & Sounds
Only Modern Warfare 3 can compare to the graphics in BO2, but even then it trails behind, but only just. Despite having some of the older textures look a little dated & grainy at times, everything else looks fresh, vibrant, and incredibly realistic (Even the futuristic aspect feel believable somehow). The individuals characters & enemies look very impressive, and they’re only rivaled by the characters & enemies in Black Ops. They move around realistically, and their faces are just about perfect in terms of look & movement.

As usual, the sounds within the game are top notch. The voice acting is crisp & clean, with every character sounding realistic & flawless (Despite some accents sounding exaggerated & somewhat stereotypical), and the musical score sounds grand & impressive. When there’s a tense moment, were given tense music, and for the large & epic battles, the score becomes large & grandiose, and encompasses everything. Even the stealth sequences have musical scores that feel larger than life.

Overall & Rating
I sincerely believe that this is the Call of Duty game that has revitalized the franchise, and brought back gamers who no longer believed in the series. We’re given a singleplayer with a fascinating story that delves into a possible future, graphics that look fantastic and sounds that sound fantastic, a stable multiplayer with interesting changes, and a host of other changes. I only had a few nitpicks with some of the smaller aspects, but they don’t in anyway ruin the experience for me.

Call of Duty: Black Ops 2 gets a 8.5 to 9 out of 10.

See you all next week, when we dive into the month of love. Until then, stay Otaku!

The Adventures of the Mini Goddesses Review

Hey everybody! Back in November last year, I had reviewed Burn Up Scramble, a show that took me a while to acquire (I reviewed it in late November cause I got the last DVD, thus completing my collection of the show). Today’s show is another one that I acquired in November, and one that’s considerably harder to find, but I’ll get to that when the time comes. So, for today, here’s a review of the incredibly adorable Adventures of the Mini Goddesses.

The Adventures of the Mini Goddesses doesn’t really have a over-arcing story to it. Actually, that’s not completely true. The basic premise of the show is that the main characters of Ah My Goddess (Urd, Belldandy, Skuld) are shrunk down to chibi-size, and have fun around the house with their rat friend, Gan-Chan. However, this leads to the first positive of the show.

Yes, I said positive. The show is pretty much a cutesy comedy, and generally cutesy comedies don’t have much in the way of a story structure (Lucky Star comes to mind when I think about this). Because of this lack of structure, it’s very loose & free forming, and isn’t all that taxing on the brain. The only time that there is any structure is when the episodes connect with one another (This doesn’t happen all the time, but it’s still frequent, and they’re to be watched in the order they’re presented).

This also goes into the 2nd positive of the show. Each of the episodes are just 5 minutes in length. They go by rather quickly (More on this later), but at the same time the 5 minute length means that they really don’t require you to think about the overarching story (What little story there is, anyway). None of the episodes aren’t really deep (Save for episode 28, but I won’t ruin that for you), but since the show is a cutesy comedy, deep episodes counteract the cuteness, except for episode 28.

The show’s 3rd positive is the cast. Almost like the main show, Adventures of the Mini Goddesses has a small but tightly focused cast. The characters that exist in the show are Urd, Belldandy, Skuld, Gan-Chan, and a fair selection of secondary characters (The biggest secondary character, Marla, almost becomes a main character in many of the episodes about halfway through the show). Given the context of this show, a large cast of characters would spoil the soup so to speak. With this cast, we still have entertaining characters, but we don’t have so many that some get overlooked.

The Adventures of the Mini Goddesses’s 4th positive is the animation quality, despite coming out in the late 90s, things look surprisingly good. The backgrounds sometimes looks like something from the mid-90s, but the characters move around really well, and they look good also. Perhaps the one thing about the characters in the show are the rats. They get a laugh from me, because while they look like a fair representation of the rodent in question, they act more like humans rather than rats, and sometimes their faces are more human than rat. The two episodes that really show this & make me laugh is when there’s an election at the temple for a rat that manages all the other rats, and this all culminates in Belldandy somehow getting elected (Spoilers, I know).

The last positive of this show is the voice acting. By the early 2000s, voice acting was much better than it was in the early to mid-90s (Sometimes voice acting in the late 90s wasn’t that good either), and The Adventures of the Mini Goddesses has some of the best voice acting I’ve ever heard. Even the secondary characters have some great voices, which is something I haven’t come across often in my anime collection. There’s rarely any crackles or boring voices, and even on the off chance when you hear something out of the ordinary, you’ll only hear it for a second or two.

Unfortunately, Adventures of the Mini Goddesses has some big problems. Luckily, there’s really only 3 problems, but they’re big like I said. For starters, this series is incredibly difficult to find. I bought the boxed set (used) back in early November last year, and even then there weren’t that many copies. The individual DVD boxes are only slightly more available, both in new & used copies.

Pricing is the show’s second negative. When I bought my used copy back in November, I managed to get it for $28 dollars, and considering the condition it was in (It looked practically brand new), that’s a steal! At the time of this writing, there are only 4 new box sets available (Prices start at $106 dollars...oh hell no!), and 1 used box set is left for purchase (The last one is currently priced at $98.01. To anyone who to manages to acquire it, congratulations!). Pricing for the individual DVDs is much more fair, with prices going from $7 dollars to $35 dollars for new copies (The copies going for $35 dollars is a little excessive), and used copies go from $2 dollars to $5 dollars.

The last negative of Adventures of the Mini Goddesses is how fast the show goes by. Despite the fact that there’s 48 episodes, the show can pretty much be watched in four hours. Hell, I watched 1 DVD per hour, and things move so fast, it’s sometimes difficult to keep track of what is going on. Anyone who doesn’t like fast shows will be turned off by this fact.

The Adventures of the Mini Goddesses gets a 7.5 to 8 out of 10. The story is easy & cute, the episodes are nice & short, there’s a great cast, it’s got decent animation, and the voice acting is also decent, but the show is hard to find, it’s a bit expensive, and it goes by quickly.

See you all next week, when the future will turn black. Until then, stay Otaku!

Bubblegum Crisis Review

Hey everybody! I had a great Christmas last year: my parents got some good loot, and I got some good loot. One piece of loot, in particular, is the subject of today’s review. It’s an anime that has considerable cult status in the United States, heavily influenced by one of the most iconic Sci-Fi films of all time, and is incredibly fun to watch despite it’s flaws. So, for your pleasure, here’s a review for the classic series Bubblegum Crisis.

Released from February 25, 1987 to January 30, 1991 and directed by Hiroaki Goda, Katsuhito Akiyama, and Masami Obari, the series takes place in 2032. It has been seven years since the Second Great Kanto Earthquake ripped through Tokyo, splitting it in two along cultural & geographical lines. In this future, differences in money & power are more pronounced than at any other time in post-war Japan. This is greatly shown through Genom, a company that has ungodly amounts of power & influence throughout the world, and not just in Japan. The product that they’re known for are Boomers (not the Left 4 Dead kind), which are special robots that can have a human form (see the Blade Runner influence?) and can be used for military or manual labor purposes. Though they normally are intended to serve humanity, they can become incredibly deadly in the hands of more...malicious individuals. This is where the AD Police comes in.

The AD Police were formed to take on Boomer related crimes...if they can get past low budgets, red tape, and a horde of political infighting. Luckily, there’s another group that’s more capable to take on the Boomers & the machinations of Genom. This group is known as the Knight Sabers, a quartet of sexy & smart women that gear up in power armor, and take on any threat that comes their way. They might get hurt (physically and/or mentally), but they overcome it all in their quest to keep Mega Tokyo safe. It’s an experience you don’t want to forget, and a experience you won’t forget when you watch.

The first positive of this show is the story. On the surface, things look rather predictable & basic. However, when you get past the surface, you’ll find that there’s a surprising amount of depth and flavor to the world. We see into the lives of the Knight Sabers (not a perfect look, but you do learn at least 1 thing about each of the sabers), some of the AD Police members, the scientists that work for Genom as well as it’s leaders, and we even get a glimpse into the lives of two special Boomers in an episode. Everybody in Bubblegum Crisis is connected in some way, whether it’s something minor, or something major.

The 2nd positive is the mix of genres. Although the main genres are action & cyberpunk, there’s also suspense, emotion (not necessarily a genre, but it helps), and some surprising moments of comedy. Despite the action & cyberpunk taking up most of what the viewer sees, everything manages to mix nicely. When there needs to be an action scene, there’s an action scene. When there’s a scene that requires a character to be emotionally weakened or strengthened, there’s that kind of scene, and when the show wants the viewer to laugh, there’s something that makes the viewer laugh.

The third positive of Bubblegum Crisis is the world in which it takes place. This is really where the Blade Runner influences shine through. I’ve never seen the full movie, so if I screw something up, please let me know.

It’s easy to see that Tokyo went through some hell during the Second Great Kanto Earthquake, and hasn’t necessarily faired better since then. Though it is still an active city, it has become more metallic & oppressive, and it’s apparent that the common man are getting squashed everyday. The city in Blade Runner also felt like this, but it that case it seemed to be more...bright somehow. In addition to the oppressive environment is the group that’s practically fixed just about everything & created said environment, Genom. Much like the company in Blade Runner (the name escapes me right now), Genom’s power & influence are everywhere, and even when you can’t see them, you can definitely feel them. They pull just about all of the strings in Mega Tokyo, and to cross them, is like saying to a group of Tupac fans that you killed Tupac: funny, but incredibly stupid.

Bubblegum Crisis’s 4th positive is the cast. Everybody in this show (with a somewhat exception for those that die) feels believable in some way, almost to the point where you could swear that you might have met them in real life somewhere. If there was a group of characters that I particularly liked, it would be the girls that compose the Knight Sabers. Despite looking cute & sexy (more on the show’s look in a bit), I swear that I’ve meet these girls before. There’s Sylia, who’s very calm & level-headed: Priss, the hot-headed tough chick: Linna, a very athletic team player, and Nene, the bubbly & innocent girl who’s sometimes there for window dressing rather than anything useful.

The next positive of Bubblegum Crisis is the animation quality. Despite being made & released from the late 80s to early 90s, the whole show still manages to look surprisingly good. There’s a great amount of color used throughout the episodes, and nothing manages to look dated, at least not on a large scale. The factories & laboratories of Genom look realistic, and the people still move realistically as well. If I had any complaints about the animation, it’s that sometimes when you’re looking at characters from afar, sometimes it can look slightly blurry.

Positive number 6 of Bubblegum Crisis is availability. Despite having been released about a decade ago, there’s still a fair amount of copies on Amazon, and you can still buy the whole collection & individual DVDs over on AnimEigo’s website (To my knowledge, they have no plans to stop producing the collection or individual DVDs). The pricing leaves something to be desired, but we’ll get to that when the time comes.

The last positive of Bubblegum Crisis is it’s music. Each of the episodes have their own beginning song & ending song, and they all sound great. Now, I haven’t listened to the songs in Japanese (save for a sliver of one song), but instead I listened to the English translations that were done, and I must say, I thought the translations were going to be horrible. Instead, I was surprised to find that the English version were well done.

Now, we’re at the negatives of Bubblegum Crisis. There one’s are kinda big, and while the show is still enjoyable despite them, they keep the series from being a perfect masterpiece. Without further delays, here what weighs this show down.

The first negative is the show’s pricing. Despite being readily available, the show can put a small dent in your wallet. A copy of the complete collection over on AnimEigo’s website will set you back $34.99 minus shipping, while Amazon is slightly more expensive at $35.96 minus shipping. There’s not that many used copies on Amazon, but the pricing does start at 25 dollars, so that isn’t too bad.

The second negative is the show’s use of Engrish. Bubblegum Crisis isn’t as bad about it as Mad Bull 34 was, but I saw at least 1 example of this in the 8th episode. At one point, you see a list with the title “Fist Shift”, when it reality it’s supposed to be “First Shift”. What’s odd is how noticeable it was. Go figure.

The last negative is really what damages Bubblegum Crisis’s chances for being a true masterpiece, and that’s the dubbing. I must say that the dub in this is one of the worst I’ve ever heard. It’s nowhere near as bad as let’s say, Mad Bull 34, but a lot of it just doesn’t seem to have any punch to it. There’s definitely effort, but there isn’t quite enough energy to make it sound like it’s a good job.

Bubblegum Crisis gets a 7 out of 10. There’s a lot to the story, the genres mix well, the world is rather unique, there’s a great cast, there’s decent animation quality, it’s readily available, and the music is nice, but it can be expensive, there’s moments of Engrish, and the dubbing isn’t the best.

See you all next week, when we’ll take a look at some miniature goddesses. Until then, stay Otaku!




* For a more comprehensive look at Bubblegum Crisis, click on the following link:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bubblegum_Crisis

The Top 5 Songs & Or Videos That Make You Go WTF---For All The Right Reasons

A couple of months ago, I posted up the nightmare inducing “Top 5 Songs & Or Videos That Make You Go WTF...For All The Wrong Reasons”. I’m still shaking from the videos in that post, not to mention the equally terrifying songs in some of those videos. However, not all songs and/or videos can cause you to have a bad WTF experience. In fact, there’s plenty of songs & music videos out there that can provide you with a pleasant, mind-warping experience. So, for your viewing pleasure,, here are the top five songs & or videos that make you go “What the Fuck!!!”.....for all the right reasons.

5) Paradise Lost - Forever Failure

We begin this list with a top class act straight from the UK. While not as popular in the United States as Type-O Negative was, Paradise Lost remains one of the world’s top Gothic Metal acts. Their music, especially from the early years, has somehow managed to transcend time, and remain hauntingly fresh. Perhaps their most iconic album, Draconian Times, is the best example I can use here, and the song Forever Failure is a good candidate to talk about. It’s also a good candidate to talk about because it’s the only song made into a video off the album.

Anyways, Forever Failure is a perfect example of a sad yet beautiful song that stays with you long after you’ve listened to. It’s true that many metal songs can have this kind of effect, but it’s not always common for a metal song to still pull at your emotions when it’s been out for a decade and a half, and still sound like it was released only yesterday. Keep with this feel of enduring freshness is the video that accompanies the song: a dark, bleak piece of cinema filmed in black & white to keep with the gothic theme. It’s a ethereal video, filled with depression & sadness, yet for some reason the images you see have a strange beauty to them. Couple with the equally dark yet lovely song, and you have an experience that’s like no other. As you’re watching Forever Failure, your mind will try to wrap it’s way around the fact that the dark & the beautiful are co-existing, with neither side smothering the other, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll go “What the Fuck!!!” trying to figure the mystery out.

4) Ministry - LiesLiesLies

I have to admit something to you guys. Originally, I had Rammstein’s “Amerika” at the number 4 spot, but I felt that having the band appear again might be considered by some to be lazy. So, after going through youtube for a few minutes, I came across this very politically rousing song, but LiesLiesLies is also an important song, at least for me, because it helped me out during a very difficult time in my life. Suffice it to say, it helped me grieve, and to move on. Shit, I’m getting off track...

In any case, LiesLiesLies is an easier song to go “What the Fuck!!!” to. From the heavy instrumentation, to the politically charged lyrics, we’re given a loud song that urges the listener to take up arms and fight the system, and show the blind followers of the system the truth of what’s going on. The video itself is equally filled with political satire, as we’re shown a stereotypical 1950s style family & home, coupled with the problems of 2001 to 2006 (9/11, Afghanistan, Iraq War, George W. Bush, etc.). As the song & video meld together into one whole, you’re really given only one thing to say...“What the Fuck!!!”


3) Primus - Mr. Krinkle

We began with Gothic Metal, then we encountered some politically charged Industrial Metal, and we now arrive at American Rock. Actually, I don’t know what to call Priums. Their songs are so odd and so strange, it’s really hard to classify what style of music they play. Although all of their songs qualify as “What the Fuck!!!”, there’s one gem from the early 90s that rises above them all.

This is yet another video from Bennett the Sage’s top 10 wtf music videos (It placed at number 4. Click “***” to watch that video). It definitely deserves to be close to number 1, simply because it is the oddest video I’ve ever watched. We have Les Claypool in a leisure suit, wearing a pig mask & gloves, and playing the Cello the entire time. I should point out that the camera doesn’t move at all, and for some reason everything seems tilted. To add to the weirdness, as Mr. Claypool is working the Cello, we’re assaulted with a variety of imagery just about every second. Hell, the first few moments we have a drumset player by what looks like a Kabuki actor, then a guitarist straight out of Motley Crue emerges from the shadows, and begins to play some gnarly rifs. Hell, putting all the things that happen in the background would be a task in and of itself! Luckily, here’s just some of what happens in the beginning:

* A man in fire walks by
* A Chinese dragon is prancing around
* A group of circus players doing trapeze acts

There’s just so many things going on, figuring out what’s what is kinda like a puzzle, and at some point during the process, you more than likely go “What the Fuck!!!”.

Oh, before I go onto the number 2 spot, let me briefly talk about the song. As usual, Primus creates a bizarre song, only this time it’s a bit more disturbing. The cello work that Les Claypool does in Mr. Krinkle is almost as beautiful as anything Apocalyptica does, but he puts a more sinister bent to it. To add to the sinister vibe, Mr. Claypool lets out some creepy lyrics that don’t make sense (it’s hard to make sense in the video because of the way he’s singing, and even if you find the lyrics online, it still won’t make sense), and they have such a “What the Fuck!!!” feeling, it’s hard to not notice.                      
2) Green Jelly - Three Little Pigs

Compared to the number 2 spot, Primus looks like a cuddly kitten. Getting their name from the Jell-O (their original name was Green Jello. They had to change it due to legal troubles with the Jell-O company) that they didn’t like, they compensated their lack of instrumentation & singing talent with childish subjects for their songs, and puppetry in their music videos & live concerts. Despite their status as the “greatest worst band in the world”, there was a time in the early 90s when they actually had a hit, and somehow managed to get onto the charts. That single, ladies & gentlemen, is Three Little Pigs.

Let’s start with the video. I’ve seen some crudely animated videos before, but this one is up there. It looks rushed, and the claymation they used looks & feels childish. Ironically, the crude looks of the video add to the overall charm, and they way they depict the pigs in question is also humorous. Basically, the first pig is a hick, the second pig is a L.A. stoner, and the third pig is a genius that came up with the house that eventually stopped the wolf (actually, Rambo stopped the wolf. Yep, this video, and the song, conjures up one of the most violent action movies to date. That’s “What the Fuck!!!” material right there). As for the wolf, the video makes him look like an old school 1950s biker boy, complete with the leather jacket, white t-shirt, blue jeans, and sunglasses. Other than the claymation, we do have a tiny bit of crudely recorded live footage, and a little bit of drawing, but it’s the claymation that takes center stage.

The song itself is also crude, but again, it’s that crudeness that adds to the charm. Three Little Pigs is a slow-paced, drum & guitar with limited keyboard laden sludge fest, with the lead singer growling & belching out a warped version of the classic children’s story, only this time it’s for adults (I watched it because it was the early 90s, and my parents, especially my father, were somewhat lenient with what I watched & played).

1) Devin Townsend - Lucky Animals

I have little to say about Devin Townsend, other than the fact that he’s a genius with music, and embraces his bipolar mind when creating songs. As for this video, it’s up to his weird, goofy, silly, yet incredibly beautiful standard. The song is pretty much the same way: it’s weird, goofy, silly, yet beautiful in some way.

What I’m basically trying to say, is to simply go watch the video, and have you brain pleasantly warped beyond repair.

Honorable Mention) David Bowie & Mick Jagger - Dancing In The Street

For starters, I’m not trying to dis David Bowie & Mick Jagger. These two individuals are some of the most talented singers & concert personalities in the world. Without them, glam rock and pop would be nowhere near the genre titans they are today. Having said that.....

.....It looks like they finally lost their damn minds in this video! True, they generally act crazy during concerts, but in those circumstances it was controlled, and used when necessary. Here, they’re bouncing up & down the walls like a group of kids that are suffering from a massive sugar rush. To complicate things, at numerous times throughout the video they get a little too close for comfort, and keep perpetuating the myth/legend that they got comfy in bed that one time. Ironically, I like the energy that they put into the video, as well as the fact that it’s a rather basic music video (it’s just a city-type background without much work done), and contains a wonderful song sung by both men (the two put a lot of effort into it, and have some really great voices).

See you all next week, when our bubblegum will be having a crisis. Until then, stay Otaku!

The Top 5 Songs That Don't Show America In A Good Light

Hey everybody, it’s the new year! It looks like the Earth is still in tact, and the zombies haven’t consumed us all! Since I’m still alive, and not a ghost from the Astral Plane, I’ve got another year of posts for you. Since the past couple months have been incredibly controversial for the country I live in, and to perhaps create a little controversy, here’s my first post of 2013, the top 5 songs that don’t show America in a good light.

I’ve actually had some trouble when it came to making this list. While there’s definitely some bands & groups in the U.S. that make music that bash the country, but I’ve had to look beyond for a majority of the songs on this list. For those of you that are strong, fanatical patriots, I want to let you know that I do not hate America. I just hate the bullshit that practically happens day after day, and it gets incredibly tiring to see politicians pull shit from out of their asses, or when some joe schmo blurt out something ungodly stupid. It’s just makes me smack my head & weep.

5) David Bowie - I'm Afraid Of Americans

This is perhaps one of the few songs on the list that has threads of comedy. Some of these threads work, and others don’t. This song was created right at the end of Mr. Bowie’s career, a legacy that spanned decades. The problem is, when he reached the 90s, his style of music changed, and it changed in a way that confused & pushed back a lot of fans. By the time it got to the late 90s, he was at the point that he was just about done with music, and would release only two more albums (On in 2002, and the last just a year later). I’m getting off track...

As I said, this song has some rather comical moments. The whole video is basically David Bowie going around town, and just doing his thing. Throughout the video, he’s stalked by Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails, who also happened to work on the song. As Bowie is running away, Trent is chasing right after him. Even as he’s being chased, Bowie also sees many other people staring at him, and they also have the same dark, hungry stare that Mr. Reznor has. The whole Anti-American vibes seem to be rather laid back, but I guess the message Bowie is trying to get across is that Americans scare him, and are always trying to get him.

4) PSY - Dear America

I think we all know about PSY through his smash hit Gangnam Style. It’s so popular, it’s got over a billion views on Youtube (At the time of this writing, the video currently has been viewed 1,055,949,365 times. This will more than likely change as soon as I post this). Hell, I’ve heard this song on the radio at least once, and it continues to grow and grow. Recently, some info about Psy’s past have come into the light, and for fans you’ll know what I’m talking about, but for those that don’t know, I think some background is needed.

Back in 2002, two Korean school girls were ran over by a U.S. tank. As if that wasn’t tragic enough, the tank crew in question were acquitted. It was this act that influenced PSY to come up on stage at a concert in gold face-paint, and smashed a miniature tank on stage that created ruckus applause. PSY’s Anti-American beliefs only increased in 2004, when a Korean missionary was captured by Islamists in Iraq. Their demands were simply: if South Korea sent aid to the United States, then the missionary would be executed. South Korea refused to negotiate, and said missionary had he head cut off. This sparked massive protests in Korea, against both the Muslim extremists, and the U.S. military for indirectly bringing this fate upon a Korean missionary.

Due to the missionary’s death, numerous Korean bands, including PSY, put on a live performance of a Korean rock band's song "Dear American.". When it was PSY’s turn, he decided to perform the song as a rap, and spat out the following words:

“Kill those fucking Yankees who have been torturing Iraqi captives Kill those fucking Yankees who ordered them to torture Kill their daughters, mothers, daughters-in-law and fathers Kill them all slowly and painfully”

Damn......that’s a lot of hate.

Given what happened, it’s understandable why someone would feel this way. Two terrible injustices inflicted, and those that were responsible got away scott free!? That’s bullshit on a scale that can’t be measured. Having said that, his lyrics are a little on the risque side of things, and to the politically correct in this country, are totally uncalled for. Recently, PSY admitted that what he said back then was wrong, and has since changed his views towards the United States. Whether it’s because of his massive popularity in the states, or because he really means it, no one knows.

3) Tamil Song

Now this is a song that rips America a new one!

Unfortunately, I’m not quite sure who’s singing this (Anybody who know, please send me the artist’s name), but I’m definitely sure as to what the singer’s message is. It’s hatred towards America, plain & simple. The lead singers spouts some of the most humorous & crude statements, that somehow manage to be outrageous & venomous at the same time. The video itself isn’t quite so bad, as a majority of it is stock footage & pictures from a variety of sources. Perhaps the most damning things about the video is that the singer is dancing on the White House, State Senate Room, and even on a tank barrel, perhaps in an effort to egg an American viewers. It almost worked on me, truth be told.

2) Laibach - America

Laibach has always been known for controversy. Dressing up in clothes that people sometimes mistake for Nazi/Fascist uniforms, political views that lean to the far left & far right at the same time (this also extends to their videos & songs) , and just being rather odd are right on the front page of Laibach’s resume. Perhaps their most controversial aspect is their views towards America, which are perfectly summed up in one song.

Compared to the other songs on this list, America is a bit more sophisticated in terms of lyrics, as well as the general vibe. As the song plays, the lead singer (who’s name escapes me at the moment) is basically asking America and it’s people if we’re still the great civilization we set out to be. Don’t believe me!? Then here’s some of the beginning lyrics:


“So the Land of the Free
and the Home of the Brave
Are your stars still so bright
Does your banner still waves”
------------------------------------
“Oh, the Land of the Free
and the Home of the Brave
Are you heaven on Earth
or the gloom of the grave”


These lyrics just ooze snarkiness & sarcasm, and it just makes you want to punch someone right in the face. The whole song is slapping everyone within the United States, yet it doesn’t stray into the realm of crudeness & vulgarity. Points in that regard.

1) Rammstein - Amerika (Original Version: *** / English Version: ***)

Couple of things before I go on about this song. For starters, I didn’t know this was an Anti-American song for a while. Eventually, I showed the video to my parents, and right off the bad they knew it wasn’t a nice song about my country. I didn’t realize it until about a year and a half later that it was Anti-American, and at first I was incredibly offended, but a few seconds after I got offended, visions of all the political bullshit that happened prior buzzed in my head (This was about one-fourth/halfway through Bush’s second term, and there was a lot of crap going on at the time), and I wasn’t offended any more afterwards.

Second, the translated lyrics are off. Not in the translations necessarily, as there are two correct versions. The problem is that the first translation, a.k.a. the translation most fans may know of, doesn’t fit with the instrumentation, and actually goes past the instruments. The second translation is the one they used, and fits in right with the instrumentation (Ironically, the English version cuts off a few seconds of instrumentation from the end, and partially alters some of the instrumentation about halfway through). With that out of the way, let’s examine the song itself.

The whole video itself is a mishmash of American components of pop culture, both good & bad. Hell, in the beginning moments of the video, and at other points, the band is dressed up in NASA suits, perhaps as a jab towards the conspiracy theorists who thought that the moon landing was fake. There’s also Maasai tribal members in Africa watching TV & eating pizza, a Muslim guru smoking a cigarette (generally, gurus aren’t supposed to smoke), and a host of other things. What’s interesting is that while the video is comical & crude to an extent, the lyrical choices are surprisingly sophisticated & clever. To sum things up, Amerika is the ultimate song that doesn’t show my homeland in a good light.

See you all next week, when we’ll delve into the world of songs & music videos that’ll make you go WTF...but in a good way. Until then, stay otaku!