Well, with the end of the world past us, I think it’s time for some lighthearted fun. Despite ending in the late summer this year, the Nostalgia Critic is one of the internet’s top comedic reviewers. Taking a look a some of pop culture’s cinematic abominations, he looks through the entire thing, making jokes & clever insults. When he stopped, the Nostalgia Critic created 250 episodes, some of which are still popular today. I’ve looked through a good chunk of these, and for you, I’ve picked out my top 5 favorite Nostalgia Critic episodes.
5) Starchaster: The Legend of Orin
This was one of those reviews in where the humor wasn’t necessarily focused on the movie (Although there were some great cracks against the film, which was pretty vile in my opinion), but more on the pairing between the Critic and Bennett the Sage. I often felt vibes of Abbot & Costello between the two, with the Critic taking a Abbot-like stance & demeanor, and Bennett the Sage acting like the tormentor that Costello often acted like, only with a more sinister bent to it. The two play off of one another in the entire review, and it works out perfectly!
4) Heavy Metal
This is another review in which the pairing (In this case, the Nostalgia Critic & Diamanda Hagan) works great. Both of these reviewers takes great pleasure in watching the other squirm from the ridiculousness of the movie. I will say that if the movie in question wasn’t Heavy Metal, then I think that the pairing wouldn’t work out as well, especially since Diamanda Hagan specializes in reviewing some rather warped films.
3) The Grinch
What impressed me the most about this review is that the Nostalgia Critic spoke nothing but rhyme the entire time. It looks like he put a damn amount of work into the rhymes, not to mention the fact that he tried to film some of the scenes like they were from the original special. My only complaint is that while he slammed the remake, I happened to like it. Not quite as much as I used to (Especially after watching this review), but I still crack a small smile when I watch this, not to mention the fact that Jim Carrey does a surprisingly good job at portraying the Grinch.
2) Commando
This review is one of my favorites simply for the fact that Commando was one of the most ridiculous films I’ve ever seen. I’m a big fan of Arnold, but even I was slack-jawed when I saw how nuts this movie was. To quote the Nostalgia Critic:
“Everything wonderful about Arnold and Everything about terrible about Arnold is in this movie. Every over the top 80s action cliche makes it’s way into this movie. It’s unbelievable: we’ve got one-liners, we got explosions, we got the bad guys in suits, we got kidnaped children, and of course, we’ve got Arnold!”
1) Ponyo
What’s great about this review is that the critic doesn’t bash the movie. As he said at the beginning of the review, he likes the movie, but has some problems with some of the weirder elements. It’s definitely understandable, especially since Ponyo was created by Hayao Miyazaki, an iconic director & animator well known for putting surreal elements in his films. What I also found great about this review is that I laughed a ton during the review, especially during the “Ham” joke halfway through.
This is my final post of 2012. See you all next year, and until then, stay Otaku!
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Wednesday, December 19, 2012
The Top 5 Games of 2012
Well guys, it’s almost the end of the world. If it is to be, then lets go out with a bang! As I’ve done this blog, I’ve felt more rejuvenated and happy about myself than I have been in a while, and I’m glad that I have managed to please so many of you. In these final days, I’ll be posting up a bunch of things to entertain you all before our world gets annihilated, some of which might be controversial, and some might not. To start things off, let me show you all what I think are the top 5 games of 2012. Enjoy!
5) Diablo 3
This is definitely a controversial choice. When it first came out, it was an alright game. However, as the months past by, and the game suffered from broken mechanics, a ruined AH, and a host of other problems, it became apparent that this game was not quite what the players hoped for, nor was it the game that Blizzard promised to deliver. If you remember from my review of the game (Click “***” to read it), I knew of the various problems within D3, but I just couldn’t bring myself to hate the game. I had a lot of fun playing, and although I haven’t gone back in a month, I have every intention to go back and get my Wizard all the way through Inferno once I’ve completed enough Borderlands 2. I feel that I should give the game a little credit, and decided to place it here.
4) Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3
Since the release of Modern Warfare 2, The Call of Duty Series doesn’t quite have the reputation as it once had. The actions of Activision, especially that of it’s president Bobby Kotick, have shown that the franchise is now about business only, and any inkling towards making a game for the purpose of fun have been heavily drained. When Black Ops came out, some of that fun came back, and with the release of Modern Warfare 3 last year, more of that fun has come back into the franchise. The single player isn’t so short, and while the multiplayer still has a problem here and there, it is far more stable than it’s 2009 predecessor. Let’s hope that Black Ops 2 brings more life back into the franchise!
3) Angry Birds: Space Edition
I was pleasantly surprised by this game. While being quite challenging in later levels, the original Angry Birds was a rather basic game with not much to it. With the introduction of the space edition, we take the birds to the void above us, and are introduced to a new environment with new hazards to content with. There’s gravitational pull, the vacuum of space that partially reduces speed, semi-new materials to break through, brand new environments, and somewhat new birds to launch at the pigs (there’s an ice bird that transforms walls into brittle ice, and the yellow bird has been transformed into a purple bird that changes direction when you click a different area of the screen), the only thing that hasn’t really changed, besides the gameplay. You’re still trying to rescue eggs, and you’re still trying to make the pigs pay.
2) Torchlight 2
If you remember my review of the game I did a couple months ago (click “***” to read it if you haven’t), I said at the end that Torchlight 2 blew the original game out of the water. I wasn’t kidding when I said that, as I had far more fun playing the new game. It’s not that the first one wasn’t fun, because it was fun. It’s not that Runic Games didn’t put a lot of work into the game, because they did. It just that when you compare Torchlight to Torchlight 2, it just seems like there’s more things to do in Torchlight 2, even if it’s fundamentally the same as the first game. It also helps to have a less cartooney look, and to just have a newer feel to it as well.
1) Borderlands 2
If Torchlight 2 blows Torchlight out of the water, then Borderlands 2 blows the original Borderlands out of the water, and sends it flying out into space (it probably passes Pluto, which I still consider to be a planet). Throwing out what was bad in the original game, and taking everything that was good in the old game and giving it a massive face lift, Borderlands 2 is psychotically good. If there was a game time capsule being made, B2 would be right in front of the line.
See you all this Friday or Saturday, when I'll put up my last post of 2012. Until then, stay Otaku!
5) Diablo 3
This is definitely a controversial choice. When it first came out, it was an alright game. However, as the months past by, and the game suffered from broken mechanics, a ruined AH, and a host of other problems, it became apparent that this game was not quite what the players hoped for, nor was it the game that Blizzard promised to deliver. If you remember from my review of the game (Click “***” to read it), I knew of the various problems within D3, but I just couldn’t bring myself to hate the game. I had a lot of fun playing, and although I haven’t gone back in a month, I have every intention to go back and get my Wizard all the way through Inferno once I’ve completed enough Borderlands 2. I feel that I should give the game a little credit, and decided to place it here.
4) Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3
Since the release of Modern Warfare 2, The Call of Duty Series doesn’t quite have the reputation as it once had. The actions of Activision, especially that of it’s president Bobby Kotick, have shown that the franchise is now about business only, and any inkling towards making a game for the purpose of fun have been heavily drained. When Black Ops came out, some of that fun came back, and with the release of Modern Warfare 3 last year, more of that fun has come back into the franchise. The single player isn’t so short, and while the multiplayer still has a problem here and there, it is far more stable than it’s 2009 predecessor. Let’s hope that Black Ops 2 brings more life back into the franchise!
3) Angry Birds: Space Edition
I was pleasantly surprised by this game. While being quite challenging in later levels, the original Angry Birds was a rather basic game with not much to it. With the introduction of the space edition, we take the birds to the void above us, and are introduced to a new environment with new hazards to content with. There’s gravitational pull, the vacuum of space that partially reduces speed, semi-new materials to break through, brand new environments, and somewhat new birds to launch at the pigs (there’s an ice bird that transforms walls into brittle ice, and the yellow bird has been transformed into a purple bird that changes direction when you click a different area of the screen), the only thing that hasn’t really changed, besides the gameplay. You’re still trying to rescue eggs, and you’re still trying to make the pigs pay.
2) Torchlight 2
If you remember my review of the game I did a couple months ago (click “***” to read it if you haven’t), I said at the end that Torchlight 2 blew the original game out of the water. I wasn’t kidding when I said that, as I had far more fun playing the new game. It’s not that the first one wasn’t fun, because it was fun. It’s not that Runic Games didn’t put a lot of work into the game, because they did. It just that when you compare Torchlight to Torchlight 2, it just seems like there’s more things to do in Torchlight 2, even if it’s fundamentally the same as the first game. It also helps to have a less cartooney look, and to just have a newer feel to it as well.
1) Borderlands 2
If Torchlight 2 blows Torchlight out of the water, then Borderlands 2 blows the original Borderlands out of the water, and sends it flying out into space (it probably passes Pluto, which I still consider to be a planet). Throwing out what was bad in the original game, and taking everything that was good in the old game and giving it a massive face lift, Borderlands 2 is psychotically good. If there was a game time capsule being made, B2 would be right in front of the line.
See you all this Friday or Saturday, when I'll put up my last post of 2012. Until then, stay Otaku!
Monday, December 17, 2012
The Top 5 Albums To Listen To Before The End Of The World
Well, ladies & gentlemen, the end of the world is getting closer & closer. With the incoming impending doom to us all, it’s only natural for us to find something to comfort ourselves when the chips are down. For many of us, music is a natural balm that soothes our souls. On some occasions (including this one), bleak & dark music is the right kind of medicine to use. So, for your pleasure, here are five heavy metal albums to listen to before the end of the world.
5) Septic Flesh - Revolution DNA
Of all of the albums on this list, Revolution DNA is perhaps the hardest to find, where as the other four have been reprinted at some point in time. Although it can be found easily online through digital means (Legal on places like Amazon & other sites with music, or illegal through torrents and other sites. I got mine digitally, if you were wondering), physical copies are incredibly difficult to find (That’s not completely true. There was a 2005 reissue with 3 bonus tracks, but I haven’t found any sign of it. There was also a Japanese release that had two extra songs on it (One song was remastered, while the other was a video edit), but I don’t think I’ve seen a physical copy). It’s never been reprinted, and it was released in 1999 (To put it’s age into perspective, this album is almost 15 years old). These two factors making finding a physical copy, whether new or used, a task that rivals destroying the One Ring.
An interesting fact about Revolution DNA is that it has more of an industrial feel. Before this album, they stayed true to their black/death metal roots, but when Septic Flesh put out this album, their roots were pushed to the side. Their black/death metal roots weren’t completely pushed out of the way, as the dark, growling vocals, as well as the more melodic vocals, are still present, as well as their heavy style of working with their instruments. It’s just that it goes in a more industrial direction. Or, to put it a little more simply: Septic Flesh uses keyboards, as well as guitar effects, to create an industrial album that somehow doesn’t sound like stereotypical industrial music, and least not completely.
As for the songs themselves, I gotta say I liked just about everything on the album. I usually detest metal bands that growl & belch out their lyrics (Ironic, considering the number 3 spot on this list, as well as a few others), but there’s an odd beauty in Revolution DNA. This odd beauty is perfectly captured in the album’s 9th track, Last Stop To Nowhere. If you remember my Top 5 Metaphysical Metal Songs (Click “***” to read that post), you’ll know that I placed the song at the number 2 spot, and with good reason. It’s a very slow, haunting, melodic song, dealing with a departed spirit at a spectral train station, waiting to be taken to whatever dimension he’s been destined to go to. If there’s one particular song I hate, it’s definitely the number 11 track, Android. There’s just too much hissing of the lyrics, not to mention the relatively loud keyboard work. To make matters worse, the two mix constantly, and confused me because the two effects were often at the same volume, making it difficult for me to hear the lead singer.
4) Paradise Lost - Draconian Times
Much like Revolution DNA, Draconian Times is a ethereal trip through the cosmos. Unlike Revolution DNA, Draconian Times has been re-released a number of times, the latest of which was the Legacy Edition that came out in 2012 (The Legacy Edition includes the original tracks, as well as some demos, live songs, and a bonus DVD with 3 music videos. I’ll be getting a hard copy of this eventually). Because of the various reprints, not to mention the fact that the album somehow sounds like it just came out in recent years, makes it more enduring than Revolution DNA.
The other thing that makes Draconian Times a great album is the sheer range of each of the songs. From the beautiful chords of piano at the beginning of Enchantment, to the punk-ish vibes of Hallowed Land, to the eerie usage of Charlie Mansion’s voice in Forever Failure, there’s an incredible range within the album. As I stated above, Draconian Times has somehow remained incredibly fresh and new, although there are points within certain songs that do sound a little dated (the guitar work at the beginning of I See Your Face is a good example). Other than the occasional age hiccup, I really recommend Draconian Times, whether it’s for the end of the world or not.
3) October Tide - Rain Without End
I have some difficulties with this album. On the one hand, it’s been reprinted like Draconian Times was (It originally came out in 95, and got a 2nd release in 2008), and is filled with great music (I highly recommend track number 5, Losing Tomorrow). On that same hand, October Tide was a side project of Katatonia, a legendary band within the black/doom metal genre, and their quality of work can be clearly felt in this album. On the other hand...
All of the songs in Rain Without End sound too much alike. From the instrumentation, to the vocals, to the overall vibe of the album, it seems like one long song (To be a little fair, there is some variety with the instruments). Only one song, Losing Tomorrow, is separate from all the others. Despite it being only 2 ½ minutes long, it’s perhaps the most emotionally powerful metal songs I’ve heard in a long time.
One other setback to the re-release of Rain Without End was that there was absolutely no bonuses that came with it. No bonus or reworked tracks, no DVD with bonus features, no nothing. In fact, the only change between the two was the artwork (The original cover looked like a grove of cypress trees damp from the rain against a blue background, while the new cover has a old man near a shack, with an equally dreary atmosphere). That’s really a lazy thing to do to an otherwise impressive album.
2) Metallica - The Black Album
This is perhaps one of the more controversial albums that I’ve mentioned on my blog. To most of the followers of Metallica, this was the album that signaled the band’s decent into mediocrity, as well as showing everyone that they cared more about cash & record deals, rather than music and their fans. I don’t necessarily agree with this: on the one hand, The Black Album does have a more commercial feel, and doesn’t quite have the speed that previous Metallica albums had. On the other hand, I don’t think the band sold out with this album, but I do think that the seeds of selling out were planted with this album. There’s just some underlying feeling of not giving a crap, that it corrupts some of the songs on the album. Speaking of the songs...
They’re pretty damn good. Not just the popular ones (Enter Sandman, The Unforgiven, etc), but some of the less popular songs as well (Of Wolf and Man, My Friend of Misery, etc). You can tell that Metallica definitely put a lot of work into the album, but as I said a moment ago, there’s a underlying feeling of not giving a crap in some of the songs. Enter Sandman & The Unforgiven are popular for a simple reason, and that’s putting more power into songs. As least for me, the following songs have the most power in the album:
- Enter Sandman
- Sad But True
- The Unforgiven
- Wherever I May Roam
- Nothing Else Matters
- Of Wolf and Man
Now, this isn’t to say that the songs I didn’t list weren’t bad. In fact, they were all pretty good to listen to. It’s just that they didn’t quite have as much oomph when compared to the one’s I listed above, and perhaps that’s why they aren’t as popular. Regardless, for anyone interested in The Black Album, I recommend given it a listen to.
1) Type-O Negative - World Coming Down
Back in May when I reviewed this album (Click “***” to read that review), I said that World Coming Down was the darkest album Type-O Negative ever produced. Given what happened to Pete Steele during the time (Deaths in the family, drug & alcohol, psychological breakdown), it’s understandable that dark songs would be made. However, I don’t think any fan of the band would expect such a dark, twisted, and downright disturbing album to have ever been produced.
It’s not just the music that has these sinister vibes. The cover of World Coming Down has it’s own sinister vibe, as the band’s usual use of black & green takes a darker turn when compared to the previous 3 albums (4 if you count The Origin of the Feces). Not only does the coloring feel dreary, we got an ethereal-like image of New York City, complete with the Brooklyn Bridge leading into the city, and out towards some unknown destination, but what makes this album cover all the more disturbing is the Twin Towers in the background (It does take a little work to find them, as the top of the city is covered in clouds, but they’re there).
As for the music of World Coming Down, I don’t hate it in the least. In fact, I consider the songs in question to be some of their finest work, and many people who’ve listened to the album also like the music in question. So as not to leave anyone in the lurch, the band decided to add in at least 1 joke track (Skip It) right at the beginning to confuse listeners. However, any laughs the listener might have released disappears once the first official song, White Slavery, begins.
Perhaps the most sinister songs on the album were the three “audio” tracks (Sinus, Liver, Lung). What made these such disturbing tracks was the fact that there was absolutely no singing (Although there was a tiny amount of talking in at least two of them): the emotion & energy were conveyed completely through the sound effects, and left a terrible feeling in the listener.
Even if those three songs weren’t on the album, the rest of World Coming Down’s tracklist is no less dark. White Slavery dealt with the pain of cocaine addiction, to the sorrow of losing loved ones in Everyone I Love Is Dead, and Pete Steele’s sexual fascination of fire within the disturbing yet kinky Pyretta Blaze, every song in this album is filled with death, darkness, and the negative side of life. For my money, World Coming Down represents everything about the end of the world.
Well guys, given how close it is to Christmas, I have 2 end of the year posts for you, and then it’s a break for the rest of the month. I’ll see you all next year, and until then, stay Otaku!
5) Septic Flesh - Revolution DNA
Of all of the albums on this list, Revolution DNA is perhaps the hardest to find, where as the other four have been reprinted at some point in time. Although it can be found easily online through digital means (Legal on places like Amazon & other sites with music, or illegal through torrents and other sites. I got mine digitally, if you were wondering), physical copies are incredibly difficult to find (That’s not completely true. There was a 2005 reissue with 3 bonus tracks, but I haven’t found any sign of it. There was also a Japanese release that had two extra songs on it (One song was remastered, while the other was a video edit), but I don’t think I’ve seen a physical copy). It’s never been reprinted, and it was released in 1999 (To put it’s age into perspective, this album is almost 15 years old). These two factors making finding a physical copy, whether new or used, a task that rivals destroying the One Ring.
An interesting fact about Revolution DNA is that it has more of an industrial feel. Before this album, they stayed true to their black/death metal roots, but when Septic Flesh put out this album, their roots were pushed to the side. Their black/death metal roots weren’t completely pushed out of the way, as the dark, growling vocals, as well as the more melodic vocals, are still present, as well as their heavy style of working with their instruments. It’s just that it goes in a more industrial direction. Or, to put it a little more simply: Septic Flesh uses keyboards, as well as guitar effects, to create an industrial album that somehow doesn’t sound like stereotypical industrial music, and least not completely.
As for the songs themselves, I gotta say I liked just about everything on the album. I usually detest metal bands that growl & belch out their lyrics (Ironic, considering the number 3 spot on this list, as well as a few others), but there’s an odd beauty in Revolution DNA. This odd beauty is perfectly captured in the album’s 9th track, Last Stop To Nowhere. If you remember my Top 5 Metaphysical Metal Songs (Click “***” to read that post), you’ll know that I placed the song at the number 2 spot, and with good reason. It’s a very slow, haunting, melodic song, dealing with a departed spirit at a spectral train station, waiting to be taken to whatever dimension he’s been destined to go to. If there’s one particular song I hate, it’s definitely the number 11 track, Android. There’s just too much hissing of the lyrics, not to mention the relatively loud keyboard work. To make matters worse, the two mix constantly, and confused me because the two effects were often at the same volume, making it difficult for me to hear the lead singer.
4) Paradise Lost - Draconian Times
Much like Revolution DNA, Draconian Times is a ethereal trip through the cosmos. Unlike Revolution DNA, Draconian Times has been re-released a number of times, the latest of which was the Legacy Edition that came out in 2012 (The Legacy Edition includes the original tracks, as well as some demos, live songs, and a bonus DVD with 3 music videos. I’ll be getting a hard copy of this eventually). Because of the various reprints, not to mention the fact that the album somehow sounds like it just came out in recent years, makes it more enduring than Revolution DNA.
The other thing that makes Draconian Times a great album is the sheer range of each of the songs. From the beautiful chords of piano at the beginning of Enchantment, to the punk-ish vibes of Hallowed Land, to the eerie usage of Charlie Mansion’s voice in Forever Failure, there’s an incredible range within the album. As I stated above, Draconian Times has somehow remained incredibly fresh and new, although there are points within certain songs that do sound a little dated (the guitar work at the beginning of I See Your Face is a good example). Other than the occasional age hiccup, I really recommend Draconian Times, whether it’s for the end of the world or not.
3) October Tide - Rain Without End
I have some difficulties with this album. On the one hand, it’s been reprinted like Draconian Times was (It originally came out in 95, and got a 2nd release in 2008), and is filled with great music (I highly recommend track number 5, Losing Tomorrow). On that same hand, October Tide was a side project of Katatonia, a legendary band within the black/doom metal genre, and their quality of work can be clearly felt in this album. On the other hand...
All of the songs in Rain Without End sound too much alike. From the instrumentation, to the vocals, to the overall vibe of the album, it seems like one long song (To be a little fair, there is some variety with the instruments). Only one song, Losing Tomorrow, is separate from all the others. Despite it being only 2 ½ minutes long, it’s perhaps the most emotionally powerful metal songs I’ve heard in a long time.
One other setback to the re-release of Rain Without End was that there was absolutely no bonuses that came with it. No bonus or reworked tracks, no DVD with bonus features, no nothing. In fact, the only change between the two was the artwork (The original cover looked like a grove of cypress trees damp from the rain against a blue background, while the new cover has a old man near a shack, with an equally dreary atmosphere). That’s really a lazy thing to do to an otherwise impressive album.
2) Metallica - The Black Album
This is perhaps one of the more controversial albums that I’ve mentioned on my blog. To most of the followers of Metallica, this was the album that signaled the band’s decent into mediocrity, as well as showing everyone that they cared more about cash & record deals, rather than music and their fans. I don’t necessarily agree with this: on the one hand, The Black Album does have a more commercial feel, and doesn’t quite have the speed that previous Metallica albums had. On the other hand, I don’t think the band sold out with this album, but I do think that the seeds of selling out were planted with this album. There’s just some underlying feeling of not giving a crap, that it corrupts some of the songs on the album. Speaking of the songs...
They’re pretty damn good. Not just the popular ones (Enter Sandman, The Unforgiven, etc), but some of the less popular songs as well (Of Wolf and Man, My Friend of Misery, etc). You can tell that Metallica definitely put a lot of work into the album, but as I said a moment ago, there’s a underlying feeling of not giving a crap in some of the songs. Enter Sandman & The Unforgiven are popular for a simple reason, and that’s putting more power into songs. As least for me, the following songs have the most power in the album:
- Enter Sandman
- Sad But True
- The Unforgiven
- Wherever I May Roam
- Nothing Else Matters
- Of Wolf and Man
Now, this isn’t to say that the songs I didn’t list weren’t bad. In fact, they were all pretty good to listen to. It’s just that they didn’t quite have as much oomph when compared to the one’s I listed above, and perhaps that’s why they aren’t as popular. Regardless, for anyone interested in The Black Album, I recommend given it a listen to.
1) Type-O Negative - World Coming Down
Back in May when I reviewed this album (Click “***” to read that review), I said that World Coming Down was the darkest album Type-O Negative ever produced. Given what happened to Pete Steele during the time (Deaths in the family, drug & alcohol, psychological breakdown), it’s understandable that dark songs would be made. However, I don’t think any fan of the band would expect such a dark, twisted, and downright disturbing album to have ever been produced.
It’s not just the music that has these sinister vibes. The cover of World Coming Down has it’s own sinister vibe, as the band’s usual use of black & green takes a darker turn when compared to the previous 3 albums (4 if you count The Origin of the Feces). Not only does the coloring feel dreary, we got an ethereal-like image of New York City, complete with the Brooklyn Bridge leading into the city, and out towards some unknown destination, but what makes this album cover all the more disturbing is the Twin Towers in the background (It does take a little work to find them, as the top of the city is covered in clouds, but they’re there).
As for the music of World Coming Down, I don’t hate it in the least. In fact, I consider the songs in question to be some of their finest work, and many people who’ve listened to the album also like the music in question. So as not to leave anyone in the lurch, the band decided to add in at least 1 joke track (Skip It) right at the beginning to confuse listeners. However, any laughs the listener might have released disappears once the first official song, White Slavery, begins.
Perhaps the most sinister songs on the album were the three “audio” tracks (Sinus, Liver, Lung). What made these such disturbing tracks was the fact that there was absolutely no singing (Although there was a tiny amount of talking in at least two of them): the emotion & energy were conveyed completely through the sound effects, and left a terrible feeling in the listener.
Even if those three songs weren’t on the album, the rest of World Coming Down’s tracklist is no less dark. White Slavery dealt with the pain of cocaine addiction, to the sorrow of losing loved ones in Everyone I Love Is Dead, and Pete Steele’s sexual fascination of fire within the disturbing yet kinky Pyretta Blaze, every song in this album is filled with death, darkness, and the negative side of life. For my money, World Coming Down represents everything about the end of the world.
Well guys, given how close it is to Christmas, I have 2 end of the year posts for you, and then it’s a break for the rest of the month. I’ll see you all next year, and until then, stay Otaku!
Friday, December 14, 2012
Duke: Nuclear Winter Review
With December underway, it’s time to look into the world of video games that celebrate the holidays. A lot of games that have the Christmas theme tend to be 3rd rate games that don’t have much to them, but one game from 1997 seems to have more to it than other holiday games before it & after. Too bad it’s got a lot of things wrong with it! With that said, here’s a review for Duke: Nuclear Winter.
Story
If the story for Duke Nukem 3d was ridiculous, then the story for this pack goes beyond them. As he’s enjoying Christmas in L.A., he gets a telegram (Who uses telegrams in the 90s?) From a rather familiar elf:
“Duke, you must hurry to the North Pole. The aliens you defeated last season have returned and are being supported by a splinter group known as the Feminist Elven Militia. They have brainwashed Santa and are going to use him to try and take over the world. COME QUICK!”
“Dr. Herbie Elfnic, dds”
Yeah, my first reaction when I saw this was “WHAT!?”
Setting
Just like the original game (Minus the second episode), Nuclear Winter takes place entirely on Earth. The first two levels took place in the original first two levels of DN3d, and the others...wait, I should talk about this for a second.
In perhaps one of the laziest moves ever, the developers have taken the original two levels of DN3d (Hollywood Holocaust & Red Light District) and basically made them so you go through them backwards. They’ve become a little more Christmasey, as snow & decorated trees are seen all over the place. What shows of the laziness the most is the fact that the levels have largely been untouched, and the secrets have stayed in place for the most part. I will admit that it was funny in the Hollywood Holocaust redux to see the movie that was playing changed.
After going through the reversed levels, things take on more of a Christmas vibe. Tragically, not all of the levels do this well: the 3rd level is meh (It partially parodies Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, but there’s an odd cameo from Mario. Just as odd is the portion of the level that is modeled after a portion of the first level in the original Doom), while the 4th, 6th, and 7th level really does the Christmas thing well. The worse culprit of the bunch is the fifth level: it’s basically a sewer system/factory that has does next to nothing as far as Christmas is concerned, apart from an occasional tree or two. It is also the most boring of the 7 levels, as there’s nothing that really stands out, apart from 2 odd underwater battles with Octobrains (The only times you see them, btw).
Characters
Taken from my Duke Nukem 3d review:
“Unlike DNF, Duke is pretty much the only character to speak of in this game. There are absolutely no other characters for Duke to interact with, and that's okay, cause Duke Nukem 3d is a one-man show. Just like with Duke Nukem Forever, Jon St. John provides the bravado and machoness for his signature character, and gives a great performance like he always does.”
Same applies here.
Gameplay
Just like DN3d, the gameplay in Nuclear Winter is exactly the same. Run & gun, find ammo & health, find keys, exit level. In this pack though, things have changed a little.
For starters, the enemies in this game have been given Christmas clothing. The Pig Cops look like miniature Santas, the Troopers are wearing snow hats, and the Enforcers are wearing antlers. This is very reminiscent of the enemies in Duke Caribbean: Life’s a Beach, where the enemies had new skins, but that’s for another review.
We also have some new enemies. These include stationary Snowmen, Snowmen that float around & act like the Assault Commander, Snowmen that drive around plows like the Pig Cops in their tanks, and female elves from the militia (One dressed in blue with a shotgun, and another dressed in camo with a chaingun). The elves are interesting in the fact that when they die, they sometimes drop a present. When the player walks over it, they’ll receive either ammo, weapons, health, or armor. A fun way to keep up with the Christmas theme, if you ask me.
Curiously, we barely see either the Octobrains, or the Protozoid Slimers. As I said above, there’s the two underwater battles in the fifth level with the Octobrains, and a section of the first level is the only place to encounter the Slimers. More curiously is the fact that they don’t have any Christmas skins on (It would be cool to see the Octobrains wearing snow hats, and the Slimers look more like piles of snow rather that green goop).
Finally, we have Santa Claus (Spelled Santa Claws in the game) as the final boss. Despite not being rather smart, he’s surprisingly tough. He has four weapons on him at all times (Shotgun, Chaingun, RPG, Devastator), has access to the jetpack, and moves around rather quickly. I died at least 2 to 3 times before I managed to kill him successfully, making him one of the toughest bosses I’ve ever encountered.
Although the gameplay remains the same, elements have been screwed around that might make playing the old episodes difficult. Here are just two examples, taken from the Duke Nukem Wiki:
“Unlike the Enforcer's and Troopers new sprites that replace their original counterparts, the Christmas Pig Cop sprites in this don't replace the original Pig Cops since for unknown reasons the original Pig Cop's sprites are replaced by Santa Claws and the Christmas Pig Cop sprites replace other sprites. ”
“The Episodes that come with the original Duke Nukem 3D are rendered almost unplayable while Nuclear Winter is active due to sprites being replaced. (The Battlelord, The Overlord and The Cycloid Emperor are inactive etc.). A particularly notable change is all the original Pig Cops encountered in the Normal Episodes will be replaced by Santa Claws since he overrides their sprites; so if there was five pig cops in one area normally the player would have to face five Santa Claws' instead and if the player killed one it would automatically end the episode and the players chances of survival against more than one Santa Claws would be quite low in any case. ”
One other screw-up involves one of the elf enemies. Specifically, the elves wearing the camouflage can occasionally fire a steady stream of shrink rays instead of their standard chaingun attacks. Curiously, I only notice this about halfway, three-fourths through the pack, and I don’t actually know if it’s a glitch or not. I just found it to be weird, that’s all.
There’s another screw-up that I’ll talk about, but it’s relatively minor compared to the two mention above. In the 6th level (Christmas Village) of the pack, after you acquire your first red keycard and go through the buildings, there’s a 2nd red keycard on Santa’s desk. This is really weird, since there isn’t another door in the level that needs a red keycard. Whether it’s around due to the laziness of the developers, or a strange program bug, that’s never been confirmed.
Perhaps the biggest screw-up comes from the pack’s multiplayer. Unless I’m missing something, this is the first Duke game in which there are bots available for the player to fight against. Sadly, the bots are incredibly stupid. They constantly wander around the map, often bumping into things and getting stuck. On top of that, they only fight with their pistols, and only change to other weapons when they walk over them.
If I can be perfectly honest, Nuclear Winter is the easiest of the 3 Duke packs, even on the 3rd difficulty setting (I dare not try it on the 4th difficulty, strangely though). It just seems like you can breeze through the whole thing in about a single hour. There really aren’t any obstacles that pose much of a threat, and even if there is any, it can be easily passed around. In fact, since I discovered the pack back in 2009, I’ve made a Christmas tradition for myself to play the whole thing on Christmas Eve before I go to bed.
Graphics & Sound
Although the Build engine looked great when it first came out, by 1997, it wasn’t looking so good. Quake had beaten Duke Nukem 3d in the graphics department, making it look so much more dated. It still holds true today: the Build engine looks incredibly primitive, the textures are meh, and the 2d enemies really stand out, but not in a good way. Although the new textures breath some life back into the engine, it’s doesn’t breath enough for it to come back to life.
To quote myself from my Duke Nukem 3d review about the sounds:
“The sounds also haven't aged well, as the aliens and weapons don't sound as fierce as they used to be. with only two exceptions. The first is Duke's voice, as it still sounds...well, kickass! The second exception is a little more surprising. Despite sounding incredibly basic, the music in the game still sounds great, as in conjures up images of a more nostalgic time, where games weren't as complex as many of them are now.”
I will say that instead of the standard songs used in the original game, we have Christmas tunes to listen to as we’re blasting aliens. Only one track repeats (It was first used in the 2nd level, and reused in the 6th level), but the songs really add to the Holiday tone of the pack (Which is ironic, cause there’s two carolers in the 2nd level you can kill).
Overall & Rating
It’s understandable why this pack is considered to be the worst of the Duke Nukem 3d packs. The graphics are beginning to look dated, the coding is screwed up in places, the beginning two levels of the original game were rehashed, and the rest of the levels were relatively uninspiring. Despite those problems, I had fun playing this pack! It’s interesting to see a Christmas vibe applied to one of video games’s most iconic badasses, and despite the first two levels being rehashes, it’s cool to go through them backwards, and there’s kind of a happy holiday vibe throughout the whole thing.
Duke: Nuclear Winter gets a 5.5 out of 10.
See you all next week, when we’ll get a little apocalyptic. Until then, stay Otaku!
* The developers of this pack have become something of a legend among the Duke Nukem community, and the gaming community at large. The link below is perhaps contains some of the best information about them, despite there being little info:
http://dukenukem.wikia.com/wiki/Simply_Silly_Software
Story
If the story for Duke Nukem 3d was ridiculous, then the story for this pack goes beyond them. As he’s enjoying Christmas in L.A., he gets a telegram (Who uses telegrams in the 90s?) From a rather familiar elf:
“Duke, you must hurry to the North Pole. The aliens you defeated last season have returned and are being supported by a splinter group known as the Feminist Elven Militia. They have brainwashed Santa and are going to use him to try and take over the world. COME QUICK!”
“Dr. Herbie Elfnic, dds”
Yeah, my first reaction when I saw this was “WHAT!?”
Setting
Just like the original game (Minus the second episode), Nuclear Winter takes place entirely on Earth. The first two levels took place in the original first two levels of DN3d, and the others...wait, I should talk about this for a second.
In perhaps one of the laziest moves ever, the developers have taken the original two levels of DN3d (Hollywood Holocaust & Red Light District) and basically made them so you go through them backwards. They’ve become a little more Christmasey, as snow & decorated trees are seen all over the place. What shows of the laziness the most is the fact that the levels have largely been untouched, and the secrets have stayed in place for the most part. I will admit that it was funny in the Hollywood Holocaust redux to see the movie that was playing changed.
After going through the reversed levels, things take on more of a Christmas vibe. Tragically, not all of the levels do this well: the 3rd level is meh (It partially parodies Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, but there’s an odd cameo from Mario. Just as odd is the portion of the level that is modeled after a portion of the first level in the original Doom), while the 4th, 6th, and 7th level really does the Christmas thing well. The worse culprit of the bunch is the fifth level: it’s basically a sewer system/factory that has does next to nothing as far as Christmas is concerned, apart from an occasional tree or two. It is also the most boring of the 7 levels, as there’s nothing that really stands out, apart from 2 odd underwater battles with Octobrains (The only times you see them, btw).
Characters
Taken from my Duke Nukem 3d review:
“Unlike DNF, Duke is pretty much the only character to speak of in this game. There are absolutely no other characters for Duke to interact with, and that's okay, cause Duke Nukem 3d is a one-man show. Just like with Duke Nukem Forever, Jon St. John provides the bravado and machoness for his signature character, and gives a great performance like he always does.”
Same applies here.
Gameplay
Just like DN3d, the gameplay in Nuclear Winter is exactly the same. Run & gun, find ammo & health, find keys, exit level. In this pack though, things have changed a little.
For starters, the enemies in this game have been given Christmas clothing. The Pig Cops look like miniature Santas, the Troopers are wearing snow hats, and the Enforcers are wearing antlers. This is very reminiscent of the enemies in Duke Caribbean: Life’s a Beach, where the enemies had new skins, but that’s for another review.
We also have some new enemies. These include stationary Snowmen, Snowmen that float around & act like the Assault Commander, Snowmen that drive around plows like the Pig Cops in their tanks, and female elves from the militia (One dressed in blue with a shotgun, and another dressed in camo with a chaingun). The elves are interesting in the fact that when they die, they sometimes drop a present. When the player walks over it, they’ll receive either ammo, weapons, health, or armor. A fun way to keep up with the Christmas theme, if you ask me.
Curiously, we barely see either the Octobrains, or the Protozoid Slimers. As I said above, there’s the two underwater battles in the fifth level with the Octobrains, and a section of the first level is the only place to encounter the Slimers. More curiously is the fact that they don’t have any Christmas skins on (It would be cool to see the Octobrains wearing snow hats, and the Slimers look more like piles of snow rather that green goop).
Finally, we have Santa Claus (Spelled Santa Claws in the game) as the final boss. Despite not being rather smart, he’s surprisingly tough. He has four weapons on him at all times (Shotgun, Chaingun, RPG, Devastator), has access to the jetpack, and moves around rather quickly. I died at least 2 to 3 times before I managed to kill him successfully, making him one of the toughest bosses I’ve ever encountered.
Although the gameplay remains the same, elements have been screwed around that might make playing the old episodes difficult. Here are just two examples, taken from the Duke Nukem Wiki:
“Unlike the Enforcer's and Troopers new sprites that replace their original counterparts, the Christmas Pig Cop sprites in this don't replace the original Pig Cops since for unknown reasons the original Pig Cop's sprites are replaced by Santa Claws and the Christmas Pig Cop sprites replace other sprites. ”
“The Episodes that come with the original Duke Nukem 3D are rendered almost unplayable while Nuclear Winter is active due to sprites being replaced. (The Battlelord, The Overlord and The Cycloid Emperor are inactive etc.). A particularly notable change is all the original Pig Cops encountered in the Normal Episodes will be replaced by Santa Claws since he overrides their sprites; so if there was five pig cops in one area normally the player would have to face five Santa Claws' instead and if the player killed one it would automatically end the episode and the players chances of survival against more than one Santa Claws would be quite low in any case. ”
One other screw-up involves one of the elf enemies. Specifically, the elves wearing the camouflage can occasionally fire a steady stream of shrink rays instead of their standard chaingun attacks. Curiously, I only notice this about halfway, three-fourths through the pack, and I don’t actually know if it’s a glitch or not. I just found it to be weird, that’s all.
There’s another screw-up that I’ll talk about, but it’s relatively minor compared to the two mention above. In the 6th level (Christmas Village) of the pack, after you acquire your first red keycard and go through the buildings, there’s a 2nd red keycard on Santa’s desk. This is really weird, since there isn’t another door in the level that needs a red keycard. Whether it’s around due to the laziness of the developers, or a strange program bug, that’s never been confirmed.
Perhaps the biggest screw-up comes from the pack’s multiplayer. Unless I’m missing something, this is the first Duke game in which there are bots available for the player to fight against. Sadly, the bots are incredibly stupid. They constantly wander around the map, often bumping into things and getting stuck. On top of that, they only fight with their pistols, and only change to other weapons when they walk over them.
If I can be perfectly honest, Nuclear Winter is the easiest of the 3 Duke packs, even on the 3rd difficulty setting (I dare not try it on the 4th difficulty, strangely though). It just seems like you can breeze through the whole thing in about a single hour. There really aren’t any obstacles that pose much of a threat, and even if there is any, it can be easily passed around. In fact, since I discovered the pack back in 2009, I’ve made a Christmas tradition for myself to play the whole thing on Christmas Eve before I go to bed.
Graphics & Sound
Although the Build engine looked great when it first came out, by 1997, it wasn’t looking so good. Quake had beaten Duke Nukem 3d in the graphics department, making it look so much more dated. It still holds true today: the Build engine looks incredibly primitive, the textures are meh, and the 2d enemies really stand out, but not in a good way. Although the new textures breath some life back into the engine, it’s doesn’t breath enough for it to come back to life.
To quote myself from my Duke Nukem 3d review about the sounds:
“The sounds also haven't aged well, as the aliens and weapons don't sound as fierce as they used to be. with only two exceptions. The first is Duke's voice, as it still sounds...well, kickass! The second exception is a little more surprising. Despite sounding incredibly basic, the music in the game still sounds great, as in conjures up images of a more nostalgic time, where games weren't as complex as many of them are now.”
I will say that instead of the standard songs used in the original game, we have Christmas tunes to listen to as we’re blasting aliens. Only one track repeats (It was first used in the 2nd level, and reused in the 6th level), but the songs really add to the Holiday tone of the pack (Which is ironic, cause there’s two carolers in the 2nd level you can kill).
Overall & Rating
It’s understandable why this pack is considered to be the worst of the Duke Nukem 3d packs. The graphics are beginning to look dated, the coding is screwed up in places, the beginning two levels of the original game were rehashed, and the rest of the levels were relatively uninspiring. Despite those problems, I had fun playing this pack! It’s interesting to see a Christmas vibe applied to one of video games’s most iconic badasses, and despite the first two levels being rehashes, it’s cool to go through them backwards, and there’s kind of a happy holiday vibe throughout the whole thing.
Duke: Nuclear Winter gets a 5.5 out of 10.
See you all next week, when we’ll get a little apocalyptic. Until then, stay Otaku!
* The developers of this pack have become something of a legend among the Duke Nukem community, and the gaming community at large. The link below is perhaps contains some of the best information about them, despite there being little info:
http://dukenukem.wikia.com/wiki/Simply_Silly_Software
Love Hina Christmas Special Review
Hi everybody. I didn’t realize this, but it’s been all over a year since I looked at Love Hina. I still stand by my opinions in that review, and I’ve recently began watching it again. I still get a laugh out of a lot of the jokes, and I still like the cast. Well, to celebrate that review’s belated birthday, and to celebrate the holidays some more, here’s a review for the Love Hina Christmas Special, also known as Silent Eve.
Originally aired on December 25, 2000, the special takes place after the events of the tv series. It’s Christmas time, and for three familiar individuals at the Hinata Apartments, it’s study time. Still working on their entrance tests for Tokyo U, there’s a happy holiday feeling in the place, but Keitaro, Naru, and Mutsumi are in full-on work mode. It’s eventually discovered by Koalla & Sara that Naru has bought a Christmas present for someone very special. Is it Keitaro, or is it some other man that the rest of the girls don’t know about? It’s from this question that propels the characters into a funny, wild, and heartwarming chase that closes up the Love Hina Story.
The first positive of the special is the story. If you’re a Love Hina fan, you’ll appreciate the familiar setting & characters, not to mention the fact of what’s going on in front of the viewer, and what’s going on in the background. It’s really great to watch a special from a familiar universe, and not have to worry about any massive changes.
The second positive to the special is that the original cast of voice actors have returned. Like the story, it’s great to have something familiar come back and not be changed so drastically. There’s still a great amount of fun & effort put into the voices of the characters, despite the flaws of two characters, but I’ll get to than in a bit.
The 3rd positive of the special is the increased emotions. Despite being a 45-minute special, there’s more at stake in this than in some of the show’s episodes. You really feel for Keitaro & Naru, and you really want them to truly confess their love for each other. You even manage to feel for the other characters more so than normal, especially Shinobu, but I’ll leave that up to you as to why.
The special’s 4th & final positive is the visuals. Usually I would say something about the visuals, but a reviewer over on Animetric (Rowena Lim Lei) captures this aspect perfectly:
“Love Hina Christmas Special sports the clean and cute style of the TV series in terms of visuals, but I somehow got the impression that the overall effect was softer compared to all the other Love Hina episodes I've seen.”
Sadly, there also a couple things that put this special in a bad light. Some are minor, but the rest have some more weight to them. Chief among them is the special’s predictability. Now what I mean is that you know that there’s going to be a problem, everybody gets involved somehow, all kinds of wackiness ensues, and in the end, everything gets fixed, and the viewer is treated to a bit of fanservice at the end. The opponents of Love Hina will almost always use these points when arguing with someone who enjoys the show, and they’re sometimes right in these arguments. As for me, I take both sides in the Love Hina argument.
Secondly, I’m not necessarily sure that this should have be a special. That’s not to say that things work within the allotted timeframe, because things do work. It’s just that perhaps it should have been spread out over the course of two episodes: the events leading up to Naru giving away the present, and Naru giving the present, would be episode 1, and the effects of giving the gift would make up episode 2. This isn’t quite as major as the predictability, but it is something that fans & haters might talk about.
For the third negative, let’s talk about the voices for Koalla & Kitsune. While I didn’t talk about this in my review of the show last year, it’s clear that these two characters have voices that might be grating on the mind for some. Koalla is the big culprit in this regard, as her voice is very high-pitched, even when she’s normally talking, which is strange because she’s not a normal character. I don’t complain about Kitsune as much, as the territory in Japan that she comes from (Kansai, I believe) has an accent like hers. My only complaint is that her accept is perhaps a little stereotypical, and sounds more Southern United Stated than Kansai.
Finally, this special is somewhat difficult to find. Despite Funimation re-releasing the Love Hina series back in 2009, nobody (including Funimation) did a re-release of the Christmas special, as well as the Spring special and the 3-episode OVA (I’ll get to these at a later date). I was able to find my copy on Amazon (used, by the way). There aren’t many new copies available to buy, but luckily there are a fair amount of used copies, and the pricing on both aren’t that terrible either (New copies start at around 29 dollars, while used copies start at 4-something dollars).
The Love Hina Christmas Special gets a 7 to 8 out of 10.
See you towards the end of the week, when our winter will get a little more nuclear. Until then, stay Otaku!
*
Oh, I forgot to mention this back in the original Love Hina review, but the original manga creator Ken Akamatsu makes some cameos in some of the episodes. He also manages to get at least one cameo in the special as well, add more to the special’s humor.
**
I was originally gonna post this on Wednesday, but I accidentally forgot, and instead decided to post this up today, along with the review that was meant for today. My bad!
Originally aired on December 25, 2000, the special takes place after the events of the tv series. It’s Christmas time, and for three familiar individuals at the Hinata Apartments, it’s study time. Still working on their entrance tests for Tokyo U, there’s a happy holiday feeling in the place, but Keitaro, Naru, and Mutsumi are in full-on work mode. It’s eventually discovered by Koalla & Sara that Naru has bought a Christmas present for someone very special. Is it Keitaro, or is it some other man that the rest of the girls don’t know about? It’s from this question that propels the characters into a funny, wild, and heartwarming chase that closes up the Love Hina Story.
The first positive of the special is the story. If you’re a Love Hina fan, you’ll appreciate the familiar setting & characters, not to mention the fact of what’s going on in front of the viewer, and what’s going on in the background. It’s really great to watch a special from a familiar universe, and not have to worry about any massive changes.
The second positive to the special is that the original cast of voice actors have returned. Like the story, it’s great to have something familiar come back and not be changed so drastically. There’s still a great amount of fun & effort put into the voices of the characters, despite the flaws of two characters, but I’ll get to than in a bit.
The 3rd positive of the special is the increased emotions. Despite being a 45-minute special, there’s more at stake in this than in some of the show’s episodes. You really feel for Keitaro & Naru, and you really want them to truly confess their love for each other. You even manage to feel for the other characters more so than normal, especially Shinobu, but I’ll leave that up to you as to why.
The special’s 4th & final positive is the visuals. Usually I would say something about the visuals, but a reviewer over on Animetric (Rowena Lim Lei) captures this aspect perfectly:
“Love Hina Christmas Special sports the clean and cute style of the TV series in terms of visuals, but I somehow got the impression that the overall effect was softer compared to all the other Love Hina episodes I've seen.”
Sadly, there also a couple things that put this special in a bad light. Some are minor, but the rest have some more weight to them. Chief among them is the special’s predictability. Now what I mean is that you know that there’s going to be a problem, everybody gets involved somehow, all kinds of wackiness ensues, and in the end, everything gets fixed, and the viewer is treated to a bit of fanservice at the end. The opponents of Love Hina will almost always use these points when arguing with someone who enjoys the show, and they’re sometimes right in these arguments. As for me, I take both sides in the Love Hina argument.
Secondly, I’m not necessarily sure that this should have be a special. That’s not to say that things work within the allotted timeframe, because things do work. It’s just that perhaps it should have been spread out over the course of two episodes: the events leading up to Naru giving away the present, and Naru giving the present, would be episode 1, and the effects of giving the gift would make up episode 2. This isn’t quite as major as the predictability, but it is something that fans & haters might talk about.
For the third negative, let’s talk about the voices for Koalla & Kitsune. While I didn’t talk about this in my review of the show last year, it’s clear that these two characters have voices that might be grating on the mind for some. Koalla is the big culprit in this regard, as her voice is very high-pitched, even when she’s normally talking, which is strange because she’s not a normal character. I don’t complain about Kitsune as much, as the territory in Japan that she comes from (Kansai, I believe) has an accent like hers. My only complaint is that her accept is perhaps a little stereotypical, and sounds more Southern United Stated than Kansai.
Finally, this special is somewhat difficult to find. Despite Funimation re-releasing the Love Hina series back in 2009, nobody (including Funimation) did a re-release of the Christmas special, as well as the Spring special and the 3-episode OVA (I’ll get to these at a later date). I was able to find my copy on Amazon (used, by the way). There aren’t many new copies available to buy, but luckily there are a fair amount of used copies, and the pricing on both aren’t that terrible either (New copies start at around 29 dollars, while used copies start at 4-something dollars).
The Love Hina Christmas Special gets a 7 to 8 out of 10.
See you towards the end of the week, when our winter will get a little more nuclear. Until then, stay Otaku!
*
Oh, I forgot to mention this back in the original Love Hina review, but the original manga creator Ken Akamatsu makes some cameos in some of the episodes. He also manages to get at least one cameo in the special as well, add more to the special’s humor.
**
I was originally gonna post this on Wednesday, but I accidentally forgot, and instead decided to post this up today, along with the review that was meant for today. My bad!
Monday, December 10, 2012
The Top 5 Christmas Parody Songs
Hi everybody! Well, we’re into the holiday season now. There’s snow on the ground, lights are strung up all over the place, and seasonal songs blare on the radio & TV. I like all kinds of Christmas songs, my preferred favorite being comedy/parody songs. I’ve listened to a lot of Christmas parody songs over the years, and some of them have become my all-time favorites. So, for you listening pleasure, here are my Top 5 Christmas Parody Songs.
5) Type-O Negative - Red Water (Christmas Mourning)
We start off this list with a song that doesn’t quite necessarily fit in the parody song category. Don’t get me wrong: Type-O Negative has been known for their dark/occasionally goofy humor, and in the process creating some really memorable songs (My Girlfriend’s Girlfriend most often comes to my mind when I think of their humor). With this song, however, I’m not quite sure. There’s definitely some sarcasm in Red Water, but overall it’s a very dark tune, full of melancholy & loss. It’s perhaps because of the melancholy that I put Red Water on this list, but on the lower part of the list because, again, I’m confused on this one.
4) Gunther & The Sunshine Girls - Christmas Song
Even if you’ve never heard of this tune, most music fans have heard of Gunther & The Sunshine Girls through the reputation of the Ding Dong Song. It’s tragic that most people know about Gunther because of the Ding Dong Song, because I think he’s a surprisingly good singer, and I usually don’t like Eurodance music. Now what does this have to do with Christmas?
Well, it just so happens that Gunther created a Christmas tune some years back, and it carries with it his mantra of “Sex, Glamour, Champaign, & Respect”. It’s kind of a sensual song, full of beautiful women, and some sexual innuendo (It’s not extremely sexual, but I was put off slightly when I listened to it for the first time). Despite the sexual tones, Christmas Song is a fun & happy tune, and I got a couple smiles from it. It also helps by having a somewhat goofy/over-the-top video, complete with 2 Christmas midgets.
3) Bob Rivers Comedy Corps - 12 Pains of Christmas
Now here’s a parody song that I know you’ve listened to!
12 Pains of Christmas has become a standard for the holidays, mainly due to the Bob Rivers Comedy Corps being an established comedy group. What makes this song so great is that a lot of us (Especially some of us that are a bit older) have definitely gone through at least one of the things that is being joked about. Whether it’s finding a Christmas tree, or setting up the lights, or mailing out the annual Christmas cards. Christmas has brought joy to an ungodly amount of people, but it’s also raised hell for perhaps an equal amount of people.
(Lego Version: ***)
2) Weird Al Yankovic - The Night Santa Went Crazy
If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Santa Claus went off his rocker, then this song is for you!
Taking a pop song (In this case, Soul Asylum’s song Black Gold) and twisting it on it’s head has become Weird Al’s routine, and it shows a lot in this song. Coincidentally, this parody and the original song were placed on top of one another as “Black Gold Made Santa Go Crazy” as a way to compare the two. The problem is it’s not on Youtube, but it can be found in the internet as a mp3 download. I’ll grab it sooner or later, since I’m actually kinda curious about it.
1) Twisted Sister - Oh Come All Ye Faithful
Some of you who are looking at this spot are gonna call bullshit on this, and to a certain extent, you’re right. Oh Come All Ye Faithful is a classic song of the holidays, and it’s practically timeless. Numerous artists over the decades have sung it in various styles, from church choirs, to pop, to country I think. However, the one group that has taken on this song, and lifted it to incredibly hilarious, yet strangely tasteful heights, is Twisted Sister.
For starters, the beginning is pulled straight from We’re Not Gonna Take It, a classic 80s metal song from Twisted Sister’s library of music. In fact, the general instrumentation & singing style of that song is used in this one. What actually makes this song funny is the accompanying video, which also happens to have a beginning that parallels We’re Not Gonna Take It’s video. Take a innocent couple, place them in a stereotypical Christmas living room, and....well, just watch the video.
Runner Up) Rootwater - Hava Nagila
Well, I had to include the Festival of Lights in this list somehow!
For starters, I didn’t even find this on purpose. I stumbled upon it in my “suggested videos” section in my youtube page a couple months back. Secondly, I know that this is a traditional Jewish song. However, it’s covered by a metal band! Whereas the original version sounds (Most of the time) very traditional, this version sounds very over the top, almost to the point of comical. Despite that, it’s a rather interesting remix, if you could believe it.
See you later this week, when I’ll be visiting the Hinata Apartments once again. Until then, stay Otaku!
5) Type-O Negative - Red Water (Christmas Mourning)
We start off this list with a song that doesn’t quite necessarily fit in the parody song category. Don’t get me wrong: Type-O Negative has been known for their dark/occasionally goofy humor, and in the process creating some really memorable songs (My Girlfriend’s Girlfriend most often comes to my mind when I think of their humor). With this song, however, I’m not quite sure. There’s definitely some sarcasm in Red Water, but overall it’s a very dark tune, full of melancholy & loss. It’s perhaps because of the melancholy that I put Red Water on this list, but on the lower part of the list because, again, I’m confused on this one.
4) Gunther & The Sunshine Girls - Christmas Song
Even if you’ve never heard of this tune, most music fans have heard of Gunther & The Sunshine Girls through the reputation of the Ding Dong Song. It’s tragic that most people know about Gunther because of the Ding Dong Song, because I think he’s a surprisingly good singer, and I usually don’t like Eurodance music. Now what does this have to do with Christmas?
Well, it just so happens that Gunther created a Christmas tune some years back, and it carries with it his mantra of “Sex, Glamour, Champaign, & Respect”. It’s kind of a sensual song, full of beautiful women, and some sexual innuendo (It’s not extremely sexual, but I was put off slightly when I listened to it for the first time). Despite the sexual tones, Christmas Song is a fun & happy tune, and I got a couple smiles from it. It also helps by having a somewhat goofy/over-the-top video, complete with 2 Christmas midgets.
3) Bob Rivers Comedy Corps - 12 Pains of Christmas
Now here’s a parody song that I know you’ve listened to!
12 Pains of Christmas has become a standard for the holidays, mainly due to the Bob Rivers Comedy Corps being an established comedy group. What makes this song so great is that a lot of us (Especially some of us that are a bit older) have definitely gone through at least one of the things that is being joked about. Whether it’s finding a Christmas tree, or setting up the lights, or mailing out the annual Christmas cards. Christmas has brought joy to an ungodly amount of people, but it’s also raised hell for perhaps an equal amount of people.
(Lego Version: ***)
2) Weird Al Yankovic - The Night Santa Went Crazy
If you’ve ever wondered what would happen if Santa Claus went off his rocker, then this song is for you!
Taking a pop song (In this case, Soul Asylum’s song Black Gold) and twisting it on it’s head has become Weird Al’s routine, and it shows a lot in this song. Coincidentally, this parody and the original song were placed on top of one another as “Black Gold Made Santa Go Crazy” as a way to compare the two. The problem is it’s not on Youtube, but it can be found in the internet as a mp3 download. I’ll grab it sooner or later, since I’m actually kinda curious about it.
1) Twisted Sister - Oh Come All Ye Faithful
Some of you who are looking at this spot are gonna call bullshit on this, and to a certain extent, you’re right. Oh Come All Ye Faithful is a classic song of the holidays, and it’s practically timeless. Numerous artists over the decades have sung it in various styles, from church choirs, to pop, to country I think. However, the one group that has taken on this song, and lifted it to incredibly hilarious, yet strangely tasteful heights, is Twisted Sister.
For starters, the beginning is pulled straight from We’re Not Gonna Take It, a classic 80s metal song from Twisted Sister’s library of music. In fact, the general instrumentation & singing style of that song is used in this one. What actually makes this song funny is the accompanying video, which also happens to have a beginning that parallels We’re Not Gonna Take It’s video. Take a innocent couple, place them in a stereotypical Christmas living room, and....well, just watch the video.
Runner Up) Rootwater - Hava Nagila
Well, I had to include the Festival of Lights in this list somehow!
For starters, I didn’t even find this on purpose. I stumbled upon it in my “suggested videos” section in my youtube page a couple months back. Secondly, I know that this is a traditional Jewish song. However, it’s covered by a metal band! Whereas the original version sounds (Most of the time) very traditional, this version sounds very over the top, almost to the point of comical. Despite that, it’s a rather interesting remix, if you could believe it.
See you later this week, when I’ll be visiting the Hinata Apartments once again. Until then, stay Otaku!
Friday, December 7, 2012
The Star Wars Holiday Special Review
Ladies & Gentlemen, I’ve seen some bad movies in my time. Drop Dead Fred, the Tim Burton remake of Willy Wonka, and SiN the Movie are just a few of the films that have scorched my brain cells. However, I’ve discovered a film so bad, so heinous, that it’s practically a living nightmare! A movie so bad, that even the actors that were in it, are still ashamed about it to this day! A movie so bad, it’s become a dark legend among sci-fi nerds. Ladies & Gentlemen, in the spirit of the holidays, I’ve decided to review this ungodly awful movie for you. So, without any further delays (unfortunately), he’s a review for the infamous Star Wars Holiday special.
Before I go on with the review, a little bit of background is needed. Considered to be one of the first official spinoffs, the Star Wars Holiday Special was directed by Steve Binder, who was also famous for directing a variety of decent television shows, specifically music programs with diverse groups of people. What’s most interesting is that the special was also composed of variety segments & cartoons (The cartoons were created by a Canadian company), and that George Lucas had little to do with the special. One it was aired, there was such a negative response, it was never aired again, and Mr. Lucas has gone out of his way to remove any trace of it. Because of his campaign, the special has gone underground, and became something of a legend among Star Wars fans. Since it’s airing, the special has been viewed and distributed in off-air recordings made from its original telecast by fans, and was later adapted to content-sharing websites. I should conclude that it was somewhat difficult to find, but I found some a few links (The movie was split into 6 parts, due to it being about 2 hours long), and managed to acquire this abomination.
Ironically enough, the story is surprisingly good, if you cut out all the bullshit. Basically, Chewbacca and Han Solo visit Kashyyyk, Chewbacca's home world, to celebrate Life Day, which is an important day among the Wookies. Along the way they are pursued by agents of the Galactic Empire, who are searching for members of the Rebel Alliance on Kashyyyk. During this special, we also meet Chewbacca’s family, consisting of his father Attichitcuk, his wife Mallatobuck, and his son Lumpawaroo (Coincidentally, their original names were Itchy, Malla, and Lumpy respectively). Eventually, the other cast members join it, and things live happily ever after. However, this is where we get knees deep into the shit that makes up the majority of this special.
Shit Component No. 1: Acting
Dear god the acting in this sucked! Just about all of the actors in her look like they would rather be doing something else (The Empire Strikes Back, perhaps). To compound this fact is that Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, and Carrie Fisher are some damn good actors! It’s not that they aren’t putting work in this special, but it just feels like they’re half-assing it most of the time.
I should point out that, in addition to the original cast, we’ve also got Bea Arthur, Art Carney, and Havery Korman as guest stars. Just like the others, these people are some damn good actors, and I don’t think they want to be here! Even worse is the fact that their performances (with the possible exception of Bea Arthur’s performance about halfway/3/4ths through the feature) feel far more lazy than the original actors.
Shit Component No. 2: Film Quality
Though not quite as bad as the acting, the quality of the film is horrible. When it was first aired, it probably looked & sounded okay, but now it’s incredibly grainy, and the colors seemed washed out somewhat. The sound quality has become muffled overtime, but things are still relatively easy to hear. The sound isn’t necessarily pleasant to listen to, but it won’t completely eviscerate your brain.
Shit Component No. 3: Story
Even with an alright story, it’s just so incredibly hamfisted, it’s not funny. Despite having a basic background, there’s horde upon horde of cheesy components added in, perhaps as an attempt to gear this special (and to an extent, the Star Wars franchise) towards younger people. Everything feels more simplified, and isn’t quite as intense as the original Star Wars was. It’s far more comedic than the original film, and the special’s emotions feel so much more artificial (The original film, at least in my opinion, really did have some real emotional scenes). It’s not helped by the fact that the variety moments & cartoon bits really take a crap over everything. Speaking of moments & bits...
Shit Component No. 4: Variety Moments & Cartoons Bits
If there weren’t any variety show moments, and pieces of cartoon footage, then this would be an okay special, and not be quite so hated. Unfortunately, this is not the case, and I firmly believe that it was these two things that brought this special down to it’s knees, and chopped it’s head off.
There is practically next to nothing redeemable about this special. It’s filled with so many kinds of shit, you can’t find anything that shines through the stink & muck. However, there are two things within this sewage of cinema that can actually be barely redeemable, and that’s Bea Arthur’s portion of the special, and the cartoon. Playing a cantina owner, news comes saying that the bar is getting shut down by the Empire, and a somewhat touching musical number stars. It’s nice...until the next part of the special plays!!!!!!
Then there’s the cartoon, and despite being pointless, it’s actually not that bad. Known as The Faithful Wookiee, this was considered to be the high point of the special, as it was the first time fans actually saw Boba Fett. It’s also interesting to note that the cartoon was the only portion of the special ever released to the public, as it was used on the 2011 Star Wars: The Complete Saga Blu-ray set as a Easter Egg.
The Star Wars Holiday Special gets a 1.5 out of 10, and that’s being kind!
See you all next week, when we’ll look at some comedic holiday songs. Until then, stay Otaku!
* Should you find that you want to slash your wrists because you wish to enjoy the pain, I posted the link below to download this “film”:
http://www.filecrop.com/19593178/index.html
** With Lucasarts being owned by Disney now, what do you think the chances are that they’ll bring the special back, or create a new one entirely?
*** (Update: 5/25/2013 | East Coast Time: 8:27 PM)
The filecrop link is dead, so instead here's a video link:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xn5gsj_the-star-wars-holiday-special_shortfilms#.UaFWtZx6_RY
Before I go on with the review, a little bit of background is needed. Considered to be one of the first official spinoffs, the Star Wars Holiday Special was directed by Steve Binder, who was also famous for directing a variety of decent television shows, specifically music programs with diverse groups of people. What’s most interesting is that the special was also composed of variety segments & cartoons (The cartoons were created by a Canadian company), and that George Lucas had little to do with the special. One it was aired, there was such a negative response, it was never aired again, and Mr. Lucas has gone out of his way to remove any trace of it. Because of his campaign, the special has gone underground, and became something of a legend among Star Wars fans. Since it’s airing, the special has been viewed and distributed in off-air recordings made from its original telecast by fans, and was later adapted to content-sharing websites. I should conclude that it was somewhat difficult to find, but I found some a few links (The movie was split into 6 parts, due to it being about 2 hours long), and managed to acquire this abomination.
Ironically enough, the story is surprisingly good, if you cut out all the bullshit. Basically, Chewbacca and Han Solo visit Kashyyyk, Chewbacca's home world, to celebrate Life Day, which is an important day among the Wookies. Along the way they are pursued by agents of the Galactic Empire, who are searching for members of the Rebel Alliance on Kashyyyk. During this special, we also meet Chewbacca’s family, consisting of his father Attichitcuk, his wife Mallatobuck, and his son Lumpawaroo (Coincidentally, their original names were Itchy, Malla, and Lumpy respectively). Eventually, the other cast members join it, and things live happily ever after. However, this is where we get knees deep into the shit that makes up the majority of this special.
Shit Component No. 1: Acting
Dear god the acting in this sucked! Just about all of the actors in her look like they would rather be doing something else (The Empire Strikes Back, perhaps). To compound this fact is that Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, and Carrie Fisher are some damn good actors! It’s not that they aren’t putting work in this special, but it just feels like they’re half-assing it most of the time.
I should point out that, in addition to the original cast, we’ve also got Bea Arthur, Art Carney, and Havery Korman as guest stars. Just like the others, these people are some damn good actors, and I don’t think they want to be here! Even worse is the fact that their performances (with the possible exception of Bea Arthur’s performance about halfway/3/4ths through the feature) feel far more lazy than the original actors.
Shit Component No. 2: Film Quality
Though not quite as bad as the acting, the quality of the film is horrible. When it was first aired, it probably looked & sounded okay, but now it’s incredibly grainy, and the colors seemed washed out somewhat. The sound quality has become muffled overtime, but things are still relatively easy to hear. The sound isn’t necessarily pleasant to listen to, but it won’t completely eviscerate your brain.
Shit Component No. 3: Story
Even with an alright story, it’s just so incredibly hamfisted, it’s not funny. Despite having a basic background, there’s horde upon horde of cheesy components added in, perhaps as an attempt to gear this special (and to an extent, the Star Wars franchise) towards younger people. Everything feels more simplified, and isn’t quite as intense as the original Star Wars was. It’s far more comedic than the original film, and the special’s emotions feel so much more artificial (The original film, at least in my opinion, really did have some real emotional scenes). It’s not helped by the fact that the variety moments & cartoon bits really take a crap over everything. Speaking of moments & bits...
Shit Component No. 4: Variety Moments & Cartoons Bits
If there weren’t any variety show moments, and pieces of cartoon footage, then this would be an okay special, and not be quite so hated. Unfortunately, this is not the case, and I firmly believe that it was these two things that brought this special down to it’s knees, and chopped it’s head off.
There is practically next to nothing redeemable about this special. It’s filled with so many kinds of shit, you can’t find anything that shines through the stink & muck. However, there are two things within this sewage of cinema that can actually be barely redeemable, and that’s Bea Arthur’s portion of the special, and the cartoon. Playing a cantina owner, news comes saying that the bar is getting shut down by the Empire, and a somewhat touching musical number stars. It’s nice...until the next part of the special plays!!!!!!
Then there’s the cartoon, and despite being pointless, it’s actually not that bad. Known as The Faithful Wookiee, this was considered to be the high point of the special, as it was the first time fans actually saw Boba Fett. It’s also interesting to note that the cartoon was the only portion of the special ever released to the public, as it was used on the 2011 Star Wars: The Complete Saga Blu-ray set as a Easter Egg.
The Star Wars Holiday Special gets a 1.5 out of 10, and that’s being kind!
See you all next week, when we’ll look at some comedic holiday songs. Until then, stay Otaku!
* Should you find that you want to slash your wrists because you wish to enjoy the pain, I posted the link below to download this “film”:
http://www.filecrop.com/19593178/index.html
** With Lucasarts being owned by Disney now, what do you think the chances are that they’ll bring the special back, or create a new one entirely?
*** (Update: 5/25/2013 | East Coast Time: 8:27 PM)
The filecrop link is dead, so instead here's a video link:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xn5gsj_the-star-wars-holiday-special_shortfilms#.UaFWtZx6_RY
Wednesday, December 5, 2012
Borderlands 2 Review
Hey everybody! Well, I’ve played enough Borderlands 2 to get the right amount of info needed for the review. Without further adieu....here’s, well...the review!
Story
Taking place just 5 years after the original game, the planet of Pandora has seen better days. Handsome Jack, the new president of the Hyperion Corporation, has been traversing all over the place, taking it over for the simple purpose of gaining more power. With the original Vault Hunters taking their fight to Jack, the player steps into the shoes of one of 5 new Vault Hunters (4 main & 1 DLC), who’ve been lured to Pandora by the vault, and Handsome Jack’s hollow promises of wealth & fame. Along their journey, the player uncovers more of Jack’s plot, and affect the lives of many individuals on Pandora.
The story has now become one of the game’s strengths. Whereas the story in the original game set out a basic guideline, Borderlands 2's story is much more fleshed out, and you know what’s going on right (At least what you’re given) from the beginning. I really cannot reveal anything from this game’s story, as there are many twists & turns the player will come across, many of which will completely surprise you.
Settings
The world of Pandora has been greatly fleshed out in Borderlands 2. Gone is the constant theme of barren wastelands (Although there’s still areas like this, just nowhere near as many), and instead we’re given new places to explore! There’s icy coastlines & tundras, lush highlands, and a stylized city modeled after the Hyperion ideas of order, conformity, and cleanliness. These are just a tiny pinch of the many places you travel to, and they’re in a sense characters as well. The graphics have also brought more realism into the areas, but I’ll save that for later.
One important area in Borderlands 2 is Sanctuary. The last stronghold of the resistance (More on this in the “characters” section of this review), the town acts as a Hub for the player to go to gain missions & complete them, restock on health & ammo, etc. The town, despite the hope that the resistance & player brings, has a constant aura of dread & despair coming from the numerous NPCs. Physically, things aren’t that much better, as Sanctuary bears the scars from previous attacks by Hyperion. Things take a turn for the worst about 1/4 to ½ way through the game, but I can’t spoil it for you. Suffice it to say, it completely change the way the town looks.
Characters
Characterization has been greatly improved from the original Borderlands. Although most of the NPCs still aren’t given much, we have characters from the previous game, along with individuals introduced in this game, that are full of character.
For starters, we have the returning cast from B1. There’s Marcus (Who seems to have become more greedy than last time) Scooter (Who’s still a car & engine nut, as well as a perv lacking some brain cells), Mad Moxxi (She’s cleaned up her act somewhat...emphasis on somewhat), Dr Zed (He’s still bonkers), Patricia Tannis (Who’s become more bonkers, if you can believe it), Angel (She has a bigger stake in the story, and to reveal any more would be a crime), and Claptrap (He’s the only robot of his kind left, due to Handsome Jack eliminating the rest, and has become considerably crazy). It’s great to see this cast comeback, as they had some impact on the original story, and they also bring in some familiar elements from the previous game.
In addition to the NPCs that have come back, the original classes you played in Borderlands 1 have returned as NPCs in their own right. Brick still acts like the musclebound brute that likes blowing stuff up, Lilith is the femme fatale, Roland is the no-nonsense leader, and Mordecai still has the loner/killer vibe to him. However, with what’s happened between the two games, they’ve changed. Brick became a bandit king (SMALL SPOILER!!), Lilith dated Roland for some time, and took on a alias to fight the bandits, Roland has become more no-nonsense, enough to the point that it’s startling, and Mordecai has stayed relatively the same, save for the fact that he’s more prone to anger this time around. They’re still familiar to those that player the first game, yet they’ve changed enough so they feel a little different when you encounter them.
Now we turn our attention to the new characters. For starters, there’s Scooter’s sister Ellie. She’s a rather massive girl (She describes herself as a 300-pound girl with a kick ass rack), and like her brother, knows how to work on vehicles & unleash beatdowns. Encountered about 3/4ths into the game, The Sheriff is a woman that nobody messes with, especially since she has total control over the town she lives in, and has ties to Handsome Jack (I’ll leave that up to you). There are also a host of other characters, and while they might not last long, it feels like they have more weight in the game. However, there’s two particular characters that I like very much, and deserve spaces of their own.
First off is Handsome Jack, the president of Hyperion. He me just say that he’s the ultimate asshole: he’s killed men, women, children, exploited Pandora’s resources, and has done ungodly things. Hell, in the opening to the game, he blows up the train you’re on, and continues to taunt you after you’ve survived & attacked his property all over the place. Yeah, this guy is a asshole to the 10th degree, and you want to beat the shit out of him the moment you find out some of the things he’s done! However, in some warped, sick, twisted way, he’s likeable & hilarious. All throughout the game, he taunts you in one manner or another. A lot of the time they’ll make you cringe, but other times they’ll make you laugh. Example:
“Just bought a pony made of diamond, because I’m rich/I’m rackin’ my brain trying to think of a name for that diamond pony I bought. I was gonna call it “Piss-For-Brains” in honor of you, but that just feels immature. Maybe...“Butt Stallion”? Nah, that’s even worse. Tell you what, I’ll give it some more thought.”
The other character I really like, is Tiny Tina. Tiny Tina is...well...Iiiiiii...Uh....just look at the link below to see why:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeqYf70fC2E
Gameplay
Just like the first game, Borderlands 2 is a straight up action game that parallels B1. We’ve still got the run & gun, the guns themselves, the driving with vehicles, and the light RPG elements. However, there have been an incredible amount of changes.
For starters are new the classes. Despite sharing similar themes with the previous classes, these new one have been given more depth & abilities. They are the:
Salvador the Gunzerker (Heavy Ranged Offense)
Maya the Siren (“Spellcasting” & Control)
Axton the Commando (Offense & Defense)
Zer0 the Assassin (Melee & Ranged Offense/Stealth)
Gaige the Mechromancer (Summoning & Ranged Offense/Limited Melee) (DLC Character)
These classes also have new abilities. Salvador can gunzerk, brandishing two guns (Any two guns, by the way), Maya can phaselock a single target, taking that target out of the fight, Axton can deploy a turret the shoots 360 degrees, and gets upgraded over time, Zero can enter a cloaked mode, gaining increased damage & stealth, while Gaige can summon Deathtrap, a giant floating robot that takes out enemies. The characters also have increased skill options: whereas the original classes had 7 skills in 3 trees, the new classes have 11 skills in 3 trees. Because of the expanded skill options, this allows for more variability & flexibility when it comes to play-styles.
If I can make a complaint about the classes, it would be towards Zer0. Style wise, he’s a badass. Dressed in a black ninja-like outfit, he wears a helmet that completely conceals his face, and speaks almost completely in haiku. Mechanically, he’s still a badass. He can become a master sniper, or a silent melee warrior, shifting in & out of visibility. The problem with Zer0 is twofold: he really can’t do ranged & melee at the same time well (You really have to stick with either or), and he feels very out of place (Much like the Witch Doctor from Diablo 3. Probably should have talked about that in the review). I’m about halfway through Zer0, and I should have him through his first run-through in a few days.
The guns in Borderlands 2 have also received a bit of a makeover, both physically & mechanically. For example, here’s a look at a Vladov machinegun from the original game:
Now here’s a Vladov machinegun from this game:
As I stated in my Borderlands review, you really couldn’t tell the difference between the manufactures as far as physical looks are concerned. Within this game, the physical looks have been redesigned for each company, given the guns more character & flavor. The mechanics of each manufacturer (Some of them, at least) have also been redesigned as well, adding yet more character. These changes include:
Jakobs: Fires as fast as you pull the trigger (Still keeps the high damage theme from B1)
Tediore: Instead of reloading, the gun is thrown away & explodes like a grenade (Still keeps the fast reload speeds from B1)
Vladof: High Fire Rates
Torgue: Fires Explosive Rounds
Dahl: Burst Fire While Zoomed In (Still keeps the Recoil Reduction them from B1)
Hyperion: Increased Accuracy while the trigger is held down
Maliwan: All Guns have Elemental Properties (Fire, Acid, Electricity, Slag)
Bandit: High Magazine Capacity
As you can tell, there’s 3 companies missing (S&S Munitions, Atlas, Eiridian). Atlas is gone because of the previous Vault Hunters in the original game, S&S Munitions have been replaced by the Bandit “Company”, and the Eiridian weapons have been replaced by E-Tech guns (Spread across most of the companies, E-Tech weapons have varied abilities at the cost of increased ammo consumption. Unlike the original Eiridian guns, E-Tech weapons don’t have infinite/regenerating ammo).
There’s also been a new damage type added, and that’s Slag. Slag works a little different from the other damage types: when an enemy is affected by Slag, they take double damage from non-Slag weapons. This damage type can be found across the weapon companies (Save for Torgue & Jakobs), and adds a new strategic element to combat.
The only thing that really hasn’t changed much is the driving. Although there are some more driving-oriented side quests, the vehicles haven’t been fleshed out. If I have one other complaint about the vehicles is that they seem to bounce off certain physical objects more so than in the original game.
A major addition to the gameplay is Badass Rank. Acting as a reward system, Badass Rank allows the player to gain rewards by completing challenges scattered all over the land. By increasing your Badass Rank, you gain Badass Tokens that let you put them into stats that increase over time (Gun Damage, Increased Accuracy, etc). These bonuses affect all your characters, and are infinite, allowing you to gain bonuses over & over. So as not to be overpowering, the bonuses you get from the Badass Tokens decrease overtime.
Another addition to Borderlands 2 is the Quick Change system. Acting like a improved version of the New-U Stations in the original Borderlands, the Quick Change machines allow you to reset your skill points, change your name, and stylize your character. Stylizing your character has been overhauled: instead of just picking colors, you now have multiple heads to choose from, as well as skin colors that affect the entire character. Some of these heads & skins are found as loot, but other you acquire through challenges, and special ones can be obtained if you have a saved file from the original game. I haven’t used the Quick Change system much, but it’s definitely welcome.
We’re also introduced to a new currency; Eridium. Although it’s rare, Eridium allows you to increase how much ammo you hold, how big you stash is (Quick note: your maximum inventory space is 27 slots instead of the maximum inventory in B1, making it harder to bring along a big arsenal), and how big your bank is (A storage container that lets you hold space weapons, shields, etc). Despite being rare, Eridium isn’t so rare that you hardly find it, and you can increase things slowly over time. Eridium is also needed to gain access to rare, after game bosses, when you find their lairs. Unfortunately, if you die, you need to use Eridium again to get back inside. If you’re low on Eridium before you go in, you’re making a mistake.
Perhaps one of the most important additions is Claptrap’s Secret Stash (It’s not all that secret, but I’ll leave that one up to you). This addition allows you to store items, and let’s your other characters grab said items from the stash to use. The only downside to the stash is that there’s exactly four slots, and makes deciding what items go into the stash somewhat challenging.
Graphics & Sounds
Running off of the Unreal 3 engine, Borderlands 2 looks fundamentally similar to B1. It still has the original game’s color scheme, but it doesn’t have as much of the previous game’s cel-shaded look, and appears a little more streamlined & smooth. Because of this, the various environments feel more believe in addition to looking more believable (Even the city of Opportunity, despite being over the top, looks like something that might exist in our world).
The sound system hasn’t been advanced much when compare to the original game, but that’s not necessarily bad. It sound very much like B1, but it includes new music, new sound effects for the enemies & guns, and even brings back some familiar voices actors to reprise their originals roles in the first game.
Overall & Rating
Borderlands 2 blows the original game out of the water, and sends it hurtling into space. Despite having the driving still underdeveloped & a little wonky sometimes, everything positive about the first game has been ramped up past 11, and the bad things have been thrown into the garbage. There’s a better story & characters, expanded world, improved gameplay, and it maintains the same graphics & sound system that gave the original Borderlands it’s iconic look & feel. Kudos to Gearbox for pumping out a damn good game!
Borderlands 2 gets a 9.5 out of 10.
See you all later this week, when we’ll take a look at one of the unholiest Christmas specials ever to be made. Until then, stay Otaku!
Story
Taking place just 5 years after the original game, the planet of Pandora has seen better days. Handsome Jack, the new president of the Hyperion Corporation, has been traversing all over the place, taking it over for the simple purpose of gaining more power. With the original Vault Hunters taking their fight to Jack, the player steps into the shoes of one of 5 new Vault Hunters (4 main & 1 DLC), who’ve been lured to Pandora by the vault, and Handsome Jack’s hollow promises of wealth & fame. Along their journey, the player uncovers more of Jack’s plot, and affect the lives of many individuals on Pandora.
The story has now become one of the game’s strengths. Whereas the story in the original game set out a basic guideline, Borderlands 2's story is much more fleshed out, and you know what’s going on right (At least what you’re given) from the beginning. I really cannot reveal anything from this game’s story, as there are many twists & turns the player will come across, many of which will completely surprise you.
Settings
The world of Pandora has been greatly fleshed out in Borderlands 2. Gone is the constant theme of barren wastelands (Although there’s still areas like this, just nowhere near as many), and instead we’re given new places to explore! There’s icy coastlines & tundras, lush highlands, and a stylized city modeled after the Hyperion ideas of order, conformity, and cleanliness. These are just a tiny pinch of the many places you travel to, and they’re in a sense characters as well. The graphics have also brought more realism into the areas, but I’ll save that for later.
One important area in Borderlands 2 is Sanctuary. The last stronghold of the resistance (More on this in the “characters” section of this review), the town acts as a Hub for the player to go to gain missions & complete them, restock on health & ammo, etc. The town, despite the hope that the resistance & player brings, has a constant aura of dread & despair coming from the numerous NPCs. Physically, things aren’t that much better, as Sanctuary bears the scars from previous attacks by Hyperion. Things take a turn for the worst about 1/4 to ½ way through the game, but I can’t spoil it for you. Suffice it to say, it completely change the way the town looks.
Characters
Characterization has been greatly improved from the original Borderlands. Although most of the NPCs still aren’t given much, we have characters from the previous game, along with individuals introduced in this game, that are full of character.
For starters, we have the returning cast from B1. There’s Marcus (Who seems to have become more greedy than last time) Scooter (Who’s still a car & engine nut, as well as a perv lacking some brain cells), Mad Moxxi (She’s cleaned up her act somewhat...emphasis on somewhat), Dr Zed (He’s still bonkers), Patricia Tannis (Who’s become more bonkers, if you can believe it), Angel (She has a bigger stake in the story, and to reveal any more would be a crime), and Claptrap (He’s the only robot of his kind left, due to Handsome Jack eliminating the rest, and has become considerably crazy). It’s great to see this cast comeback, as they had some impact on the original story, and they also bring in some familiar elements from the previous game.
In addition to the NPCs that have come back, the original classes you played in Borderlands 1 have returned as NPCs in their own right. Brick still acts like the musclebound brute that likes blowing stuff up, Lilith is the femme fatale, Roland is the no-nonsense leader, and Mordecai still has the loner/killer vibe to him. However, with what’s happened between the two games, they’ve changed. Brick became a bandit king (SMALL SPOILER!!), Lilith dated Roland for some time, and took on a alias to fight the bandits, Roland has become more no-nonsense, enough to the point that it’s startling, and Mordecai has stayed relatively the same, save for the fact that he’s more prone to anger this time around. They’re still familiar to those that player the first game, yet they’ve changed enough so they feel a little different when you encounter them.
Now we turn our attention to the new characters. For starters, there’s Scooter’s sister Ellie. She’s a rather massive girl (She describes herself as a 300-pound girl with a kick ass rack), and like her brother, knows how to work on vehicles & unleash beatdowns. Encountered about 3/4ths into the game, The Sheriff is a woman that nobody messes with, especially since she has total control over the town she lives in, and has ties to Handsome Jack (I’ll leave that up to you). There are also a host of other characters, and while they might not last long, it feels like they have more weight in the game. However, there’s two particular characters that I like very much, and deserve spaces of their own.
First off is Handsome Jack, the president of Hyperion. He me just say that he’s the ultimate asshole: he’s killed men, women, children, exploited Pandora’s resources, and has done ungodly things. Hell, in the opening to the game, he blows up the train you’re on, and continues to taunt you after you’ve survived & attacked his property all over the place. Yeah, this guy is a asshole to the 10th degree, and you want to beat the shit out of him the moment you find out some of the things he’s done! However, in some warped, sick, twisted way, he’s likeable & hilarious. All throughout the game, he taunts you in one manner or another. A lot of the time they’ll make you cringe, but other times they’ll make you laugh. Example:
“Just bought a pony made of diamond, because I’m rich/I’m rackin’ my brain trying to think of a name for that diamond pony I bought. I was gonna call it “Piss-For-Brains” in honor of you, but that just feels immature. Maybe...“Butt Stallion”? Nah, that’s even worse. Tell you what, I’ll give it some more thought.”
The other character I really like, is Tiny Tina. Tiny Tina is...well...Iiiiiii...Uh....just look at the link below to see why:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BeqYf70fC2E
Gameplay
Just like the first game, Borderlands 2 is a straight up action game that parallels B1. We’ve still got the run & gun, the guns themselves, the driving with vehicles, and the light RPG elements. However, there have been an incredible amount of changes.
For starters are new the classes. Despite sharing similar themes with the previous classes, these new one have been given more depth & abilities. They are the:
Salvador the Gunzerker (Heavy Ranged Offense)
Maya the Siren (“Spellcasting” & Control)
Axton the Commando (Offense & Defense)
Zer0 the Assassin (Melee & Ranged Offense/Stealth)
Gaige the Mechromancer (Summoning & Ranged Offense/Limited Melee) (DLC Character)
These classes also have new abilities. Salvador can gunzerk, brandishing two guns (Any two guns, by the way), Maya can phaselock a single target, taking that target out of the fight, Axton can deploy a turret the shoots 360 degrees, and gets upgraded over time, Zero can enter a cloaked mode, gaining increased damage & stealth, while Gaige can summon Deathtrap, a giant floating robot that takes out enemies. The characters also have increased skill options: whereas the original classes had 7 skills in 3 trees, the new classes have 11 skills in 3 trees. Because of the expanded skill options, this allows for more variability & flexibility when it comes to play-styles.
If I can make a complaint about the classes, it would be towards Zer0. Style wise, he’s a badass. Dressed in a black ninja-like outfit, he wears a helmet that completely conceals his face, and speaks almost completely in haiku. Mechanically, he’s still a badass. He can become a master sniper, or a silent melee warrior, shifting in & out of visibility. The problem with Zer0 is twofold: he really can’t do ranged & melee at the same time well (You really have to stick with either or), and he feels very out of place (Much like the Witch Doctor from Diablo 3. Probably should have talked about that in the review). I’m about halfway through Zer0, and I should have him through his first run-through in a few days.
The guns in Borderlands 2 have also received a bit of a makeover, both physically & mechanically. For example, here’s a look at a Vladov machinegun from the original game:
Now here’s a Vladov machinegun from this game:
As I stated in my Borderlands review, you really couldn’t tell the difference between the manufactures as far as physical looks are concerned. Within this game, the physical looks have been redesigned for each company, given the guns more character & flavor. The mechanics of each manufacturer (Some of them, at least) have also been redesigned as well, adding yet more character. These changes include:
Jakobs: Fires as fast as you pull the trigger (Still keeps the high damage theme from B1)
Tediore: Instead of reloading, the gun is thrown away & explodes like a grenade (Still keeps the fast reload speeds from B1)
Vladof: High Fire Rates
Torgue: Fires Explosive Rounds
Dahl: Burst Fire While Zoomed In (Still keeps the Recoil Reduction them from B1)
Hyperion: Increased Accuracy while the trigger is held down
Maliwan: All Guns have Elemental Properties (Fire, Acid, Electricity, Slag)
Bandit: High Magazine Capacity
As you can tell, there’s 3 companies missing (S&S Munitions, Atlas, Eiridian). Atlas is gone because of the previous Vault Hunters in the original game, S&S Munitions have been replaced by the Bandit “Company”, and the Eiridian weapons have been replaced by E-Tech guns (Spread across most of the companies, E-Tech weapons have varied abilities at the cost of increased ammo consumption. Unlike the original Eiridian guns, E-Tech weapons don’t have infinite/regenerating ammo).
There’s also been a new damage type added, and that’s Slag. Slag works a little different from the other damage types: when an enemy is affected by Slag, they take double damage from non-Slag weapons. This damage type can be found across the weapon companies (Save for Torgue & Jakobs), and adds a new strategic element to combat.
The only thing that really hasn’t changed much is the driving. Although there are some more driving-oriented side quests, the vehicles haven’t been fleshed out. If I have one other complaint about the vehicles is that they seem to bounce off certain physical objects more so than in the original game.
A major addition to the gameplay is Badass Rank. Acting as a reward system, Badass Rank allows the player to gain rewards by completing challenges scattered all over the land. By increasing your Badass Rank, you gain Badass Tokens that let you put them into stats that increase over time (Gun Damage, Increased Accuracy, etc). These bonuses affect all your characters, and are infinite, allowing you to gain bonuses over & over. So as not to be overpowering, the bonuses you get from the Badass Tokens decrease overtime.
Another addition to Borderlands 2 is the Quick Change system. Acting like a improved version of the New-U Stations in the original Borderlands, the Quick Change machines allow you to reset your skill points, change your name, and stylize your character. Stylizing your character has been overhauled: instead of just picking colors, you now have multiple heads to choose from, as well as skin colors that affect the entire character. Some of these heads & skins are found as loot, but other you acquire through challenges, and special ones can be obtained if you have a saved file from the original game. I haven’t used the Quick Change system much, but it’s definitely welcome.
We’re also introduced to a new currency; Eridium. Although it’s rare, Eridium allows you to increase how much ammo you hold, how big you stash is (Quick note: your maximum inventory space is 27 slots instead of the maximum inventory in B1, making it harder to bring along a big arsenal), and how big your bank is (A storage container that lets you hold space weapons, shields, etc). Despite being rare, Eridium isn’t so rare that you hardly find it, and you can increase things slowly over time. Eridium is also needed to gain access to rare, after game bosses, when you find their lairs. Unfortunately, if you die, you need to use Eridium again to get back inside. If you’re low on Eridium before you go in, you’re making a mistake.
Perhaps one of the most important additions is Claptrap’s Secret Stash (It’s not all that secret, but I’ll leave that one up to you). This addition allows you to store items, and let’s your other characters grab said items from the stash to use. The only downside to the stash is that there’s exactly four slots, and makes deciding what items go into the stash somewhat challenging.
Graphics & Sounds
Running off of the Unreal 3 engine, Borderlands 2 looks fundamentally similar to B1. It still has the original game’s color scheme, but it doesn’t have as much of the previous game’s cel-shaded look, and appears a little more streamlined & smooth. Because of this, the various environments feel more believe in addition to looking more believable (Even the city of Opportunity, despite being over the top, looks like something that might exist in our world).
The sound system hasn’t been advanced much when compare to the original game, but that’s not necessarily bad. It sound very much like B1, but it includes new music, new sound effects for the enemies & guns, and even brings back some familiar voices actors to reprise their originals roles in the first game.
Overall & Rating
Borderlands 2 blows the original game out of the water, and sends it hurtling into space. Despite having the driving still underdeveloped & a little wonky sometimes, everything positive about the first game has been ramped up past 11, and the bad things have been thrown into the garbage. There’s a better story & characters, expanded world, improved gameplay, and it maintains the same graphics & sound system that gave the original Borderlands it’s iconic look & feel. Kudos to Gearbox for pumping out a damn good game!
Borderlands 2 gets a 9.5 out of 10.
See you all later this week, when we’ll take a look at one of the unholiest Christmas specials ever to be made. Until then, stay Otaku!
Monday, December 3, 2012
Katatonia - Dance of December Souls Review
Hi everybody! As time marches on, we sometimes forget those who’ve paved the way for us. Not just in the realms of music, but in movies & tv shows, anime & manga, comic books, and many other pop culture fixtures. Sometimes we forget things because they were horrible, or we forget because they haven’t necessarily kept up with the times. Well, in today’s case, it’s the latter. Without further ado, and to celebrate the coming of December, here’s a review for Katatonia’s first album, Dance of December Souls.
Although this album was reprinted a couple times, and has been given new material, for the purpose of this review I’ll be sticking with the original lineup of songs, so as not to confuse anyone who hasn’t listened to the album yet.
Background
There have been many bands in the late 80s to early 90s who’ve dabbled in the realms of death, doom, and gothic metal, but none have been as iconic as Katatonia. First formed 1991, the lineup consisted of Jonas Renkse (drums, percussion, vocals), Anders Nyström (guitars), Guillaume Le Huche (bass guitar), and Dan Swanö (A guest at the time, who worked on the keyboard). In the early 90s, bands such as My Dying Bride, Anathema, and Paradise Lost were also producing death/doom metal, and with some success, but it was Katatonia that came to produce some truly unique sounds.
Before Dance of December Souls, the band released Jhva Elohim Meth (Translated: God is Dead) on July of 1992, a very limited demo album (Only 500 copies were made: 300 were blue-cased, 100 were transparent-cased, and another 100 were red-cased. In an even more limited quantity, the first 30 copies had photos & lyrics) that showed off their work, right before the album. After the success of the demo, Katatonia began to work on their first album.
I should note that Dance of December Souls has actually been re-released a couple times. The first edition came out on December 14, 1993, and it was later released in the US in 1999 without alterations, but it also got a reissue in 2004 with all-new artwork (The band stated on their website that they didn’t like this copy for personal reasons), another re-release in 2007 with a blue version of the cover (The original cover was red) & all five songs from their demo album, and a final re-release on double vinyl in 2010.
Songs
Seven Dreaming Souls (Intro): Despite being 46 seconds long, Seven Dreaming Souls is a great way to start out. Although there’s no singing in this song, there’s definitely a lot of screams & moans that create a very sinister vibe, not to mention some equally dark usage of the keyboard. Again, great song to start the album off.
Gateways of Bereavement: This is a song that’s very much in flux. All throughout the song, we get singing, instrumentation, singing, etc. I actually don’t like the singing in this, as I can’t understand most of the lyrics, apart from a few words. The real strength of this song is it’s usage of instrumentation: we’ve got heavy & haunting guitars, we’ve got powerful drumming, and there’s even a little bit of elegant keyboarding. If there weren’t any lyrics, this would have been an amazing song. Such as it is, it’s just a nice song.
In Silence Enshrined: This song is a little bit different that Gates of Bereavement. The vocals are a little easier to understand (Though not by much), and the instrumentation this time around seems to be focused more on the guitars and drums, and the keyboard is used a little more sparingly (It shows up about halfway through the song, and is used on & off from there). Strangely, In Silence Enshrined seems to move along at a slightly faster pace than the previous track (Especially at the 3/4th point in the song), yet for some reason still manages to have a steady sound.
Without God: I can say, without a shadow of doubt, that this song has the easiest lyrics to hear. Sure, Jonas Renkse still screams a lot of the time, but in this song he seems to be doing it a lot more clearly. I can also say that this is a highly heretical song, as Renkse’s singing about a world without god. Strangely, there’s very little keyboard in this, apart from some being used in the middle & 3/4th points of the song. Instead, this song is focused solely on the guitars & drums, both of which put in a lot of overtime.
Elohim Meth: Another audio track, but this one is a bit different when you compare it to Seven Dreaming Souls. Unlike that song, this one is longer (1 minute & 42 second), and doesn’t focus on the keyboard as much. Instead, we’re given a mix between guitar & keyboard, both of which are played very sorrowfully. At around the halfway point, the sound of gentle rain & light thunder add a rather melancholic feel to the sorrow, creating a surprisingly emotional song.
Velvet Thorns (of Drynwhyl): Holy crap, this song is long! Clocking in at almost 14 minutes, this is one of the longest songs on the album (Tomb of Insomnia is the 2nd biggest song, but I’ll get to that in a bit). Because of it’s length, there’s a lot more going on in it when you compare it to the songs before it. Tragically, the vocal quality also sinks back a bit, and almost sounds like what was sung on In Silence Enshrined. However, Velvet Thorns shares Gateways of Bereavement’s strength in it’s instrumentation, and everybody’s on deck. We got the guitars, as well as the drums playing fast & slow, and we also have the keyboard that provides us with some lovely sounds. Again, like Gateways of Bereavement, this would have been amazing if there weren’t any lyrics.
Tomb of Insomnia: Like I said in the previous song, Tomb of Insomnia is the second biggest track on the album, measuring in at 13 minutes & 10 seconds. Tomb of Insomnia also happens to be one of the strangest songs on Dance of December Souls, as a majority of it sounds like a metal song from the late 80s. This is really evident in the instrumentation, as it focuses heavily on guitars, with a good supplement of drums, and a little bit of keyboard to add some variety to it. Yet again, the vocals ruin what is an otherwise perfect song, as I can barely understand them.
Dancing December: We began this album with an audio song, found another one about halfway through the album, and now we end it on a audio song. Unlike the beginning track, Dancing December is a much longer track (2 minutes & 20 seconds). Also unlike the first track, there’s no-where near as much in the way of dark vibes, instead going for a more ethereal/elemental feeling. The beginning starts off with a slow & melancholy guitar riff, accompanied by some equally melancholic piano playing, and some drum work. Then about halfway through, the pace accelerates, and some beautiful keyboard sounds come through. The rest of this song is relatively fast paced, yet it somehow doesn’t manage to lose the beauty it creates during the first half.
Overall Impression & Rating
It’s definitely understandable why Dance of December Souls has fallen off the radar for many metal fans. Unlike a lot of albums produced in the early 90s by other death/doom/gothic metal bands (Particularly, depending on who you ask, Paradise Lost’s classic album, Draconian Times), it hasn’t necessarily aged well. In particular are the cliched lyrics, and the instrumentation, which sounds good, but also sounds a little dated. Despite those two problems, Katatonia’s first album is fun to listen to, and I consider it a primer album for anyone who wants to get into the world of metal.
Dance of December Souls gets 5 to 7 out of 10.
See you all later this week, when we’ll take a trip back to Pandora. Until then, stay Otaku!
Although this album was reprinted a couple times, and has been given new material, for the purpose of this review I’ll be sticking with the original lineup of songs, so as not to confuse anyone who hasn’t listened to the album yet.
Background
 |
| (Original Cover) |
 |
| (2004 Re-Release) |
 |
| (2007 Re-Release) |
Before Dance of December Souls, the band released Jhva Elohim Meth (Translated: God is Dead) on July of 1992, a very limited demo album (Only 500 copies were made: 300 were blue-cased, 100 were transparent-cased, and another 100 were red-cased. In an even more limited quantity, the first 30 copies had photos & lyrics) that showed off their work, right before the album. After the success of the demo, Katatonia began to work on their first album.
I should note that Dance of December Souls has actually been re-released a couple times. The first edition came out on December 14, 1993, and it was later released in the US in 1999 without alterations, but it also got a reissue in 2004 with all-new artwork (The band stated on their website that they didn’t like this copy for personal reasons), another re-release in 2007 with a blue version of the cover (The original cover was red) & all five songs from their demo album, and a final re-release on double vinyl in 2010.
Songs
Seven Dreaming Souls (Intro): Despite being 46 seconds long, Seven Dreaming Souls is a great way to start out. Although there’s no singing in this song, there’s definitely a lot of screams & moans that create a very sinister vibe, not to mention some equally dark usage of the keyboard. Again, great song to start the album off.
Gateways of Bereavement: This is a song that’s very much in flux. All throughout the song, we get singing, instrumentation, singing, etc. I actually don’t like the singing in this, as I can’t understand most of the lyrics, apart from a few words. The real strength of this song is it’s usage of instrumentation: we’ve got heavy & haunting guitars, we’ve got powerful drumming, and there’s even a little bit of elegant keyboarding. If there weren’t any lyrics, this would have been an amazing song. Such as it is, it’s just a nice song.
In Silence Enshrined: This song is a little bit different that Gates of Bereavement. The vocals are a little easier to understand (Though not by much), and the instrumentation this time around seems to be focused more on the guitars and drums, and the keyboard is used a little more sparingly (It shows up about halfway through the song, and is used on & off from there). Strangely, In Silence Enshrined seems to move along at a slightly faster pace than the previous track (Especially at the 3/4th point in the song), yet for some reason still manages to have a steady sound.
Without God: I can say, without a shadow of doubt, that this song has the easiest lyrics to hear. Sure, Jonas Renkse still screams a lot of the time, but in this song he seems to be doing it a lot more clearly. I can also say that this is a highly heretical song, as Renkse’s singing about a world without god. Strangely, there’s very little keyboard in this, apart from some being used in the middle & 3/4th points of the song. Instead, this song is focused solely on the guitars & drums, both of which put in a lot of overtime.
Elohim Meth: Another audio track, but this one is a bit different when you compare it to Seven Dreaming Souls. Unlike that song, this one is longer (1 minute & 42 second), and doesn’t focus on the keyboard as much. Instead, we’re given a mix between guitar & keyboard, both of which are played very sorrowfully. At around the halfway point, the sound of gentle rain & light thunder add a rather melancholic feel to the sorrow, creating a surprisingly emotional song.
Velvet Thorns (of Drynwhyl): Holy crap, this song is long! Clocking in at almost 14 minutes, this is one of the longest songs on the album (Tomb of Insomnia is the 2nd biggest song, but I’ll get to that in a bit). Because of it’s length, there’s a lot more going on in it when you compare it to the songs before it. Tragically, the vocal quality also sinks back a bit, and almost sounds like what was sung on In Silence Enshrined. However, Velvet Thorns shares Gateways of Bereavement’s strength in it’s instrumentation, and everybody’s on deck. We got the guitars, as well as the drums playing fast & slow, and we also have the keyboard that provides us with some lovely sounds. Again, like Gateways of Bereavement, this would have been amazing if there weren’t any lyrics.
Tomb of Insomnia: Like I said in the previous song, Tomb of Insomnia is the second biggest track on the album, measuring in at 13 minutes & 10 seconds. Tomb of Insomnia also happens to be one of the strangest songs on Dance of December Souls, as a majority of it sounds like a metal song from the late 80s. This is really evident in the instrumentation, as it focuses heavily on guitars, with a good supplement of drums, and a little bit of keyboard to add some variety to it. Yet again, the vocals ruin what is an otherwise perfect song, as I can barely understand them.
Dancing December: We began this album with an audio song, found another one about halfway through the album, and now we end it on a audio song. Unlike the beginning track, Dancing December is a much longer track (2 minutes & 20 seconds). Also unlike the first track, there’s no-where near as much in the way of dark vibes, instead going for a more ethereal/elemental feeling. The beginning starts off with a slow & melancholy guitar riff, accompanied by some equally melancholic piano playing, and some drum work. Then about halfway through, the pace accelerates, and some beautiful keyboard sounds come through. The rest of this song is relatively fast paced, yet it somehow doesn’t manage to lose the beauty it creates during the first half.
Overall Impression & Rating
It’s definitely understandable why Dance of December Souls has fallen off the radar for many metal fans. Unlike a lot of albums produced in the early 90s by other death/doom/gothic metal bands (Particularly, depending on who you ask, Paradise Lost’s classic album, Draconian Times), it hasn’t necessarily aged well. In particular are the cliched lyrics, and the instrumentation, which sounds good, but also sounds a little dated. Despite those two problems, Katatonia’s first album is fun to listen to, and I consider it a primer album for anyone who wants to get into the world of metal.
Dance of December Souls gets 5 to 7 out of 10.
See you all later this week, when we’ll take a trip back to Pandora. Until then, stay Otaku!
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